So this is how it ends, my Friend....

So this is how it ends,
My Friend...
Days filled with guilt
Wrenching Sobs
Stinging Eyes...



This isn't what I expected
on that day almost
Twelve years ago

You were the wild one
The yapping one
The ornery one
So of course
My little boy
Anxious for a puppy
Chose you

You made him cry
on the way
home that day.
Trying to escape the confines
of your cardboard box
You clawed
You scratched
You howled
You made your presence known

You fell asleep in my lap
in the recliner
And I soon followed
you into dreams.
I awoke to find you on my chest
Asleep and snoring away.
Your little head tucked in
against my neck.

You barked and pulled at
my pant legs.
Every time I got on the
computer to write.
I wrote a lot in those days.
I'd say to you
"NO LUKE NO"
And that became one of your many
many nicknames.

Luke
Lucas
Luker
Lukie-Boy
Big Guy
Big Boy
Big Hairy Boy
The Fur Covered Freight train...(SIMILE!)
But you were always my boy
No matter what I called you

We played ball in the backyard
You and me
You and Dustin
And later,
You and Jared
We were friends,
We were Family
You were my fur-covered Son.

You ate everything.
The Trash.
The Lattice on the Deck.
You even ate all the outdoor lighting
For Pete's Sake!
Bulbs, Wires and All.
I called the Vet.
He said to watch your poop.
Oh, that was fun!
Two days later whole light bulbs appeared.
Ta-da! We said. Luke The Magnificent!
(Thank goodness that nickname never took off!)

It was joy and happiness
for many years with you
Till the sickness hit
And old age set in
You still looked and acted like a pup
sometimes.
But the white hairs began to appear
around your eyes.
It took longer for you to stand and to sit.
You became scared of storms and
sometimes even the dark.

You clawed
You scratched
You barked
You made your pain and suffering known

Tonight you're laying down behind my chair.
I'm on the computer.
I'm writing again.
I think of you dying tomorrow,
and I say to you "NO LUKE NO."

Insanities of Life

So many things don't make sense to me...
I've been praying a lot lately.
Some of the silliness out there makes me sad.
Some of it makes me roll my eyes and shake my head.
Some of it even makes me laugh.

Obstacles placed in my way frustrate me.
After I knock them down or find a way around
I just find another one.
Yesterday I dealt with a ton of them and got through
them just fine.
Today I awake to find another one bigger than all the
ones before.

Laughter is the best medicine.
When you think you can't take anymore of the insanities
You meet someone crazier than you feel.
Like the lady last night at B&N who said she couldn't look
at cat books because she's allergic to them.
She then sat down next to a Honduran couple and asked
"Are you from Mexico?" Unbelievable!
I shook my head, rolled my eyes and laughed.

Later one of my co-workers showed me a book
that offered a review that said the book was filled
with Cowboy on Cowgirl action, and Cowboy on Cowboy
action while maintaining a true sense of the old west.
Um, excuse me? Am I missing something here?
What the heck are they talking about?
I had to laugh and once again, shake my head.

What is the world coming to?
I wondered that all last night.
I prayed. I prayed. I prayed some more.
Today I have a better attitude, but no answers yet.
I have a gut feeling of what I need to do
but my gut is also telling me that I've worried too much
and an ulcer is inevitable.

I've reached out to friends for help and advice.
I know they'll come through and I pray for a quick response.
My best friend is dying. Luke is his name. He's been a loyal friend
for many years. Luke is my dog and I'll cry when he's gone.
Life is easy. Life is hard. Such are the Insanities of Life.