Albert Pujols = Persona non grata

Persona non grata (Latin, plural: personae non gratae), literally meaning "an unwelcome person," is a term used in diplomacy with a specialized and legally defined meaning. The opposite of persona non grata is persona grata.

If you had asked me a week ago to give you my opinion of St. Louis Cardinals baseball Superstar Albert Pujols, I would have said that he may be the greatest baseball player of his generation.
After last Friday...my opinion has been altered just a bit.

Oh, I will still tell you that Albert Pujols may be the greatest baseball player of his generation...but then I'll pause, look you in the eye and tell you that in the eyes of my children, (and to some extent my eyes as well...) Albert Pujols is a bit of a jerk!

Dateline: Kansas City, Missouri Friday December 22nd, 2006 2:30 pm...
An average department store in an average suburb of KC. Subject Pujols is looking at shoes when he is spotted by members of the Cox family.

They speculate as to if it is, in fact, the greatest baseball player in all of the Major Leagues. After careful consideration it is determined that it is, in fact, Albert Pujols. Members of the Cox family decide they want to approach the subject and ask for an autograph. When younger members, Dustin (age 12) and Jared (age 6) become skittish about approaching one of their heroes a logical solution is offered...Their Father, David (age 41) will make the initial approach on their behalf.

David crosses the isle from jackets and coats to men's sweaters. "Excuse me?" David (Me) says, "Are you Albert Pujols?"
"Yes I am" says the man, thus answering the question of "Is this really Albert Pujols?"
"I was wondering if my Sons could tell you "HI" and get your autograph?" I ask politely.
Pujols eyes narrow to slits as he says "No way, Man...not here!"
"Sorry to bother you," I say as he walks away quickly.

"What a jerk!" Dustin says
"Wow," says Jared, "I wasn't expecting that!"
"Me neither..." I (I mean, David) reply.
"We should just point and yell... HEY IT'S ALBERT PUJOLS!!!" Dustin says...
"Maybe he's just having a bad day...or maybe he's like me and hates Christmas shopping?" I offered.
"But still, you'd think he'd at least be not so rude." Says Dustin.
"You're right..." I offer.

I honestly do understand his reasons for not signing autographs:
1. He's afraid everyone will notice him and it will become a riot.
2. He hates Christmas shopping and just wants to get out of there and get home.
3. He's spending time with his family and just doesn't want to be bothered.
4. We might have been the 25th group of people to pester him that day.

Reasons I think he might have refused: (my first reaction to his behavior)
1. He's a Jerk
2. He didn't even think for one minute that while we might have been the 25th group of people to ask for his autograph that day...it was the ONLY time that my kids are likely to run into one of their heroes while just out shopping.
3. He's a Jerk
4. He's addicted to the fame but allergic to the fans.

Ways that Albert could have refused nicely:

1. Sorry guys, I'm with my family and I don't want to cut into their time.
2. I can't guys because I'm really in a hurry, but it was nice that you asked.
3. I wish I could, but if I did I'm afraid it would turn into a madhouse...but here, let me shake your hands.
4. Sorry guys, but you know how hectic it is around Christmas, and I've still got a lot to do...

See, Albert...you could have done the nice thing in the eyes of my kids...that way you wouldn't have ended up persona non grata...

David

Smitten Kittens

So this week Dustin (who is 12) had his first "Date." (I'm doing air quotations as I type this).
He's known this girl over the phone for the last few months and they met through a mutual friend. After making and receiving nightly phone calls (in multiples) they decided that they should finally meet face to face.

On Tuesday Dustin's school had their Christmas Orchestra Concert, and since Dustin plays the bass, he was required to go. We were doing our usual running late sort of thing when the phone rang.

"Dad," he yelled..."Can we give _________(name deleted to protect her privacy) a ride home from the concert?"

"I guess," I said "If her Mom is okay with it..."

"Dad" Dustin yelled..."Can we give her a ride to the concert?"

"Dustin, we're really short on time...if we do, we'll have to drop you off at school and then go get her...is she going to want to ride with a family she's never met?"

"I'll ask her..." he answered.

After talking with her Grandmother and figuring out directions, we dropped Dustin off at the school and then headed over to his object of interest's house...(I was going to say affection, but their both pretty new to the game...)

So into the van hops a cute 13-year-old girl with bright eyes and an even brighter smile. Jared (who is 6) must have noticed too, because he began to look at her the way he looks at puppies and ice cream. (In fact, I had to get onto him for staring at her...) She turned out to be not only cute, but polite and a very good sport to put up with my good natured joking... (I told her that Dustin only liked Country music and the 3 stooges and that he'd only go to sleep if I whistled the theme to the Andy Griffith Show to him...)

The concert went well and Dustin played great! Afterwards the school provided refreshments and I had to prod Dustin along so that he'd walk alongside his girl "friend" and even so he'd make small talk with her...he was the epitome of shy. As they walked on ahead I asked Jared if he liked her and he said "Just as a friend..." (This is a 6-year-old we're talking about!!!)
Sherry later asked Jared if he thought Dustin's friend was cute... his answer? "DUH!!!"

We stopped and let the kids run into Quik Trip and get cappucinos and then we drove her home...since it was nearly 9:00 on a school night. They resumed their phone calls the following night... Ah, first love...

David

Barbara Walters don't know squat! Here's my 10 most interesting people.

Okay, Baba Wawa had her 10 most interesting people of 2006 and they included:

JAY-Z (mostly because he's engaged to Beyonce)

Patsy Ramsey's Husband
(I guess because she died and that creepy guy said he killed their daughter when he really didn't)

Patrick Dempsey (Former nerdy guy turned "McDreamy" which sounds like snack on the McDonald's menu)

Terri Irwin (Steve's Widow... I have all of the respect for her in the world and believe that she is the ONE AND ONLY PERSON WHO DESERVES TO BE ON THIS LIST!)

The Lady who inspired "The Devil Wears Prada" (ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)

Angelina Jolie (She's pretty and somewhat less weird than she used to be...but so what?)

Andre Agassi (Okay, he's a great tennis player and humanitarian...so he might sort of belong here)

Nancy Pelosi (Wow, she's important....whoo hooo...big flippin deal!)

and I totally forgot the other two people because this list is so stupid it makes me wanna hurl!

Here are my 10 most interesting people of 2006 not in any particular order...

1. Steve Carrell- Star of the "OFFICE" on NBC and the star of "Little Miss Sunshine" and "Over the Hedge." Comic genius.

2. David Eckstein-- St. Louis Cardinal's player and all-around nice guy. Once voted best Jewish athlete even though he isn't Jewish!!! Great ball player too!

3. Terri Irwin---What strength and courage! She is an inspiration to all and makes all Husbands want to hold their wives that much tighter.

4. John "Buck" O'Neil---One of the classiest people ever to grace this planet. He brought smiles to those who had none and brought the Negro Leagues Baseball History to Light. If God needed a team manager, he's got one now!

5. Lamar Hunt---Practically invented the modern NFL and coined the term "Superbowl." Along with Buck O'Neil one of the nicest "celebrities" My kids and I have ever met.

6. April McKenzie---Customer service agent at Disney World Resorts... She is the example that all service people should follow!

7. Jennifer Hudson---former American Idol reject who may just sing her way to an OSCAR in "Dreamgirls."

8. Barbaro---okay, I know he's a horse, but his broken leg at the Kentucky Derby broke hearts all over the world.

9. Pam and Jim from the OFFICE- A sweet romance that makes you forget all about David and Maddie and Sam and Diane.

10. Heroes---Best new TV show on TELEVISION this year!

Rejected titles for Modern Christmas songs

1. I saw Mommy kissing Santa Cl...... Hey, wait! That's not Santa, that's K-Fed... Gross!

2. All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth and 2.5 million dollars from those idiots at Schwinn who failed to put a proper warning label on my bike.

3. Walking in a winter wonderland with a plastic baggy to pick up my dog's poop with.

4. Let it snow, yeah great Idea...You're not the one who gets to stay home and listen to the kids fight over the X-Box.

5. Rudolph the rednosed alcoholic who admits he has a problem but still harbors bad thoughts about the Jews.

6. We wish you a Merry Christmas, but you won't hear it from the associates in our store this season.

7. I'm getting gift cards for Christmas...

8. The 12 days of Christmas and the 365 days of credit card debt.

9. Frosty the transgendered snowman.

10. The Little Drummer boy who keeps getting weird messages on his myspace message board.

Entering a "Treatment Program"

Yes, it is true... I'm entering a treatment program. I have decided that for too long I have suffered in semi-silence with the growing, debilitating disease that is gnawing away inside of me.

A few friends have noticed my problem over the years and have said that they wanted to stage an intervention. I asked them "Don't you remember all the fun times we had?" "Don't you remember all the laughs?" They stared at me, stone-faced and replied "NO...."

So as of 9 AM tomorrow morning, I will be committing myself to a 30 day Joke treatment center. I, David Cox...am a Jokaholic! There, I said it! I feel better already! I can resist the temptation to tell the joke about the guy who is having a mad passionate affair with his Boss's Wife and in the middle of the throes of passion she says "Kiss Me, Kiss me," to which he responds "Kiss you? I shouldn't even be doing this!!!"

See, before today, I would have just told that joke...but now I can resist the temptation to just Blurt out silly and semi-offensive jokes.

I guess what prompted me to seek help was an email I got in response to my last Blog posting, where I made an off-color joke about a laptop. I apologized and yet was criticized for making fun of treatment programs.

I mean, if it worked for Mel Gibson and Michael Richards (well, I guess he has yet to enroll in treatment, although he is seeking advice from Mental Health Experts Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.) It can work for me too...

Really, if it worked for Robert Downey, Jr. it can work for me!

I spoke to my friend, Gail about my humor problem and she seems sympathetic....(but I think she's lying!)

Oh well, in case I don't get a chance to blog from the "clinic" I wish you all the best this Christmas season. OH CRAP! I can't call it Christmas anymore! It's the HOLIDAY SEASON...

Christmas is too politically incorrect! Maybe the Doctors can help me with that too...


David

Thanksgiving....and all of that stuffing

Had a pretty good day yesterday overall...

I ate Turkey, Mashed potatoes, dressing, corn casserole, broccoli-rice & cheese, hot rolls and caramel apple pie. Needless to say, I'm still stuffed today! Went to downtown Kansas City for the Plaza Lighting and then went home and watched the KC Chiefs beat the Denver Broncos! Go CHIEFS!!! So, it was a very typical Kansas City Holiday.

Today I did some online shopping and got that out of the way...and now I have to start thinking about my Wife's Birthday which is about 2 weeks away... Uh-Oh! What to buy? I saw a commercial yesterday where a guy was buying his Wife a $1,200 dollar ring for Christmas... okay, realistically, how many people do you know who will (or can) do that sort of thing for Christmas? I'd love to, but puh-leeze! I'm thinking CD's and Perfume...or maybe a blouse or something!

Christmas is pretty easy at our house...Dustin is at the age where he just wants money and gift cards, and Jared wants Sports stuff....so, that's easy to do. Sherry's not really all that picky about stuff, so she's good too (she's a clothes person)... and Luke just wants chew toys, tennis balls and stuff you can eat!

I want a shop vac, an air compressor (just a cheap one, thanks!) and DVD's of "The Office." Other than that, I could use some jeans... movies and tools...that's me...

Hope you all had a great day yesterday...other than the kids bickering...it was a good day!

Dave

Thanksgiving in the land of Turkeys

On Friday we had Thanksgiving Lunch at the Elementary School. Jared (who is six-years-old) had just finished a stunning performance of the "Turkey Woogie" (it's kind of like a boogie and it goes like this....) And the classic "Turkey Tango," (which may have been the best and only performance I've ever seen of it). So, we sat down to eat Turkey (what else?) Ham (Turkey's distant cousin) mashed potatoes (curtesy of our friend, Karen... Good Job, Karen! oh, and I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that she cooked the turkey too!)

My Wife provided COOOOOOOOOL Whip (as my dear old Grandma used to call it) and butter, and I provided a healthy appetite. Jared, on the other hand, ate one tiny bite of pumpkin pie, and 3 dinner rolls.

How can you convince a kid who doesn't eat anything, that he's missing out on nearly everything? Especially at Thanksgiving??? How can you not be hungry smelling all of that great food? This is something that I'm left to ponder...

On the other foot, the Christmas crowds are starting to crowd into our local bookstore (where I work, as does Karen, she of Turkey and Potato fame) Karen's Husband is Vic, who is my partner in crime in Cub Scouts. (let me rephrase that as not to imply that any criminal activity is occurring between Vic, myself and the Cub Scouts....) We co-lead them, but in all actuality it is Vic who does most of the leading since I can only be there two out of four meetings per month due to my other job at the LIBERRRY.

Vic, Karen, Sherry and I also briefly shared joint custody of a lovely little dog that we found that Jared named Ginger (most likely because I once had a dog with the same name) but who is now named Lucy since she has moved in with Vic and Karen. (We gave her to them since we already have that darling little Fur Covered Freight Train named LUKE.)

So....long story long... we didn't need another dog and they wanted one, and she is, might I say with the exception of Luke, "THE BESTEST DOG ON THE ENTIRE PLANET!" She's trained (house and trick-wise too) and she's very, very sweet.

That was our good deed for the month...saving a starving dog and finding her a good home. (Pat on the back time). It had to be done and I wouldn't have done it any other way. How could anyone let a wonderful pet like that go and just let her starve? Some people should not be allowed to have pets...or kids...

Which brings me to my next rambling... WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU CAMP OUT FOR A NINTENDO OR A PLAYSTATION IN FREEZING WEATHER AND BRING ALONG YOUR 3-YEAR-OLD CHILD? There were several kids camping out for the overpriced, overhyped freezing extravaganza! What MORONS!!! I hope the paycheck and frostbite were worth it!!!

Someone asked me yesterday if I was ready for Christmas... ha.... maybe in about 13 months I will be...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING YOU TURKEYS!!!

David

1st Post Election Blog and I've nothing to say...

Okay, so the Republicans lost...big deal! I'll miss Talent in the Senate and would have preferred that he lost to almost anyone other than Claire, but you know what? As Shakespeare once said "It ain't the end of the world."

So we took a few hits...whatever doesn't kill us will make us stronger, right? I'm miffed about the Stem Cell initiative, because if people had even bothered to read it they never would have voted for it! "Vote for a Cure" is what they were told... or should I say, "Sold?"

It's time for the Democrats to put up or shut up... Can they do a better job? I hope so... We'll see...

On to more fun things! Basketball season is here! Yea! Both of the kids have started practicing and I'm looking forward to some games!

We went to a KC Chiefs event this past Tuesday for Cub Scouts that turned out to be not-all-that-great. It was crowded...way too crowded! We were told to have one parent per Scout, not one seven-member-family per Scout...which meant that while our Scouts were waiting in line to complete various tasks for a merit badge, someone's 3-year-old brother was taking a turn!
Jared seemed to enjoy the tasks, but waiting in line for 25 minutes several times in one night is not my idea of a good time!

Christmas is almost here and as is usually the case, I am broke! We were doing okay until car trouble, washing machine trouble, car trouble and car trouble occurred. Whoopee!
So anyway, I'm hoping things iron out soon!

Enough depressing stuff.... Until next time...

David

I know, I know....

Again I hadn't planned on mentioning politics... but I will touch on it briefly... Anyone who doesn't believe in Liberal Bias in the Kansas City Star should look no further than Sunday's(11/5/2006) paper.

Again (see 2004 election endorsements) the Star has gone 98% for Democratic candidates!

Maybe I'm missing something here, or maybe I'm biased...but where is the logic that one political party is the "best" in every category? It isn't possible!!! If that were true, than the general public would see it and the Democrats would win every election...right?

How can it be that the party that held the Senate and the House for over 40 years and still manage to accomplish next to nothing is the #1, totally without a doubt, best overall crowd of candidates that there are?

As someone who has watched the Republican party wobble, buckle and bend these past two years, I am somewhat disappointed in how my "group" (you know, the 2%) have fallen. Part of that is due to the constant clawing, digging and biting that the Democrats are doing.

Do the Republicans have all the answers? Obviously not, but for all of the Democrat's griping, I have yet to see (or hear) one of them come up with a better plan for anything.

Does that mean that I think all of the Democrats are wrong? No... but the Howard Deans and Ted Kennedy's that the party has propped up as it's figureheads are the worst possible choices to lead that party. That is why O'bama looks so good to so many people. He's new, he's young, he's scandal-free! (when is the last time you could say that about any politician?)

We'll see how Tuesday goes... I think that the Republicans will lose a few and take a few hits here and there...but it's wayyyyyyy too premature for the Democrats to start celebrating.
I think we may yet here Howard Dean's cry on Wednesday morning..... "YAAAAAGGGGGHHH!" And that isn't a good sound for the Democrats...


David

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

I'm trying to avoid any political comments in this entry, although I will say that I think the Republicans need to send John Kerry a thank you note, much in the way that the Democrats should for Mr. Foley... nuff said?

This has been a horrible week! The washing machine is dying...we may have termites...and Jared pitched a rock through the back window of our van. (The reason I say pitched is that the day before he had pitched 8 perfect strikes from the "big kid's line" at the Church carnival.) He pitched so well that the little league coach who was manning the booth said that even though he coaches 9 and 10 year olds, Jared could come play for him. (nice compliment, but it didn't pay for the window....)

So, how about those Cardinals? Good job! A Missouri team wins! Next year, the Royals!!!

I should also say Thank you to God and Pastor Daniel and Pastor Fred because they are working hard to make my life a lot better. Not that it is bad, but they're working to make things better for all of us. My family, and our community are better for knowing them.

Halloween was fun but cold. Dustin was some sort of rock star/underworld guy and Jared was a Hip Hop Rappin' Dude. Pretty simple outfits, but they got a lot of positive comments. (and way too much candy!)

I'm ready to celebrate the Birth of Christ, but not ready for all of the hustle and hassle that the Holiday brings. I'm going to try to take a few minutes every day to remember what we are celebrating! You should as well...it might make you feel better and take some of the pressure off!

Have a good weekend,

David

Had Enough??? Have you???

Okay... so I've got to tell you that I'm really sick of all of the political ads. All of them! Right, Left, Middle...you name it! At the moment I'm not too enthused about this election. Yes, I know who and what I'm voting for, but after watching hours of commercials and debates and such I've decided that what I look for in a candidate is no experience whatsoever!

(Yes, I'm kidding!) I just wish there were more Dave Hellings (KC STAR), Michael Mahoneys (Channel 9 KMBC Kansas City) and that guy at KY3.COM in Springfield, Missouri to tell us who is telling the truth.

So far all I know is that some of Clair's ads are false. Some of Talent's ads are misleading. The Springfield paper says vote no on #2 and the St. Louis paper says vote yes. Everyone has an opinion and the other side is dead wrong.

The only problem with this theory is that one political party cannot be correct all of the time!
I tend to vote Republican and plan on voting that way 99.9 percent this election, save for Mike Sanders, who is the one Democrat I want to vote for this time.

I rarely vote straight ticket, but don't see much of an option this time other than Sanders. This brings me to the "Had Enough? Vote Democrat" crowd. Yes, I'm rather unhappy that this Congress hasn't done more, but the Democrats had the House and the Senate for more than 40 years and accomplished next to nothing, and yet they want to hold the Republicans to a higher standard than they were willing to reach for themselves?

Granted, the Republicans have dropped the ball....A LOT! However, if the Democrats want to go digging for scandals they'd better be sure they don't uncover some of their own...many of which might make the Foley scandal seem rather tame.

This "Had Enough" crowd is probably the same group that touted "Anybody but Bush" which if anyone seriously believed that slogan I have some land for you off the coast of Florida that I'd love to sell you. Please!!! Mistaken laden though this administration has been, you can't tell me that Bush has been worse than Carter, Ford or Fillmore for that matter!

In our country's past we have had a worse economy, worse wars and worse crime. Worse drug problems, worse etc.... and more worse etc.... (fill in the blank) and sometimes all at the same time! The only thing that I think is worse this go-round is the sense of hatred spewing from the left. Whatever happened to "Hate is not a family value?"

We have countdown to eviction calendars (anti-Bush), We have "Bushisms," we have Bush T-shirts calling him a Terrorist and killer...(Did anyone wear those during the Truman administration when we blew up a good portion of the civilian population of a certain country?)
Did we have country singers calling any President a "F-Head" or telling him to go "F" himself?
No, because regardless of who our leader was, we still respected the office that he held and exhibited a certain amount of manners and decorum with our "free speech."

Do I think, as some people do, that we are a country that is failing? Going down the drain? Causing all the world to hate us? No.... I do think we're a spoiled lot and that we need to grow up a bit, but do I think we're corrupt? Rotten? Killers? Maybe the people who are saying that have a problem with low self image, but I still see a country where freedom exists...where people can still come from all over the world to seek out and live a dream. I still see the greatest country in the world!

Can we do better? Of course! And we should strive every day to be a better people and country! But we need to start from within and make changes within ourselves. We can't expect our leaders or country to change if we don't do the same ourselves. Get involved...do something positive instead of sitting around griping or badmouthing our leaders... Take Action! Write letters to elected officials....Pray for our country and our elected officials...put signs in your yard....Campaign....run for office....VOTE!

Don't tell me that your vote or your opinion doesn't make a difference!!! MAKE THEM MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!!

And another thing....don't assume the other side is stupid just because you don't agree with them. They have their reasons for voting the way they do....it doesn't make them stupid or "Wrong," it just makes them different. As long as they're pulling their weight by voting and not just throwing their weight around...MORE POWER TO THEM!

Good night and May God Bless America!

David

Emotional Rescue

Okay, so maybe I'm feeling a bit emotional after watching 9.5 hours of Buck O'Neil memorials on TV, and so what if I got teary-eyed at Filmmaker Ken Burns' assessment of Buck's life? Hey! I loved Buck O'Neil and I love baseball...and I love a good speech when I hear one...so, give me a break!

On top of that, Pastor Fred had yet another of his brilliant sermons today...you know the kind, the ones that make you want to go out and change the world. During his sermon he showed a video about a young autistic boy named Jason, who never knew he couldn't change the world.
(or his world at the very least). I found the video online by googling "Jason autistic basketball Rochester" and it brought me to CBS news who had at least 4 videos on him at their site.

Pastor Fred said it was okay to complain to God (in the right way) and that God often helps us find our greatest strengths in our weaknesses. (David and Goliath being a prime example)

(which also reminds me of the great Steven Curtis Chapman song that says "I've got to keep my eyes on Jesus through the Weak Days...")

I think the goal of Fred's message was for us to "Take Action," which I think is what Buck O'Neil's philosophy was as well. Here was a man who was denied the right to play in the major leagues; denied his place in the baseball hall of fame (which will forever be a bone of contention with me...so don't even get me started!) and still had not an angry or hateful thought or moment of regret.

I'm all over the map on this stuff today...but I find that sometimes just meandering around in thoughts is somewhat cathartic...don't you agree? Those of you who know me know that I talk this way too... I can be discussing politics, religion and "Green Acres" in the same paragraph and still find time to lament the problems in Iraq, the price of gas, and the fact that food preservatives are killing us. (I might even work in a pun or two so that I don't sound preachy...no offense to you, Pastor Fred!)

So, here I sit...a bit sad at the loss of a great man, Buck O'Neil...and still I stand ready for action.
I want to change the world...(at least my little portion of it) I want to make someone happy and proud. I want to make someone smile and laugh. I want to lead by example and follow God's word. I want to keep my eyes on Jesus through the "Weak Days" cause even on the weak days he'll make me strong...

David

Life and nothing but...

So this past week was "hectic" if I may say so... We had something going on every night of the week and I was beat by the time Friday arrived. So what did I do? I took Jared camping with the Scout troop!

It was fun....but it was also very COLD! The next morning we got up and did about a million activities before we broke camp at noon and headed home. Once there, I took a nap, then a shower and then got ready to go work at that Bookstore I work at.

When I got home (midnight) I finally settled in to read the paper, only to discover that Buck O'Neil had died. (Read my nice vs. nasty Celeb column if you don't know who he is....) I may even have my Buck O'Neil column on here somewhere as well. (I digress, but Greinke finally did send the boys some autographs, so kudos to him for stepping up!)

I went to bed depressed and very tired. Woke up late on Sunday...Sher didn't feel well so Dustin and I did the Church thing. Pastor Fred was on the money once again and then gave his opinion on the Stem Cell issue. Needless to say, we both agree that "No" would be the best way to go on #2. Watched the "Great debate" between Claire and Talent and came away underwhelmed. I think Talent will win, and why not? He's a good guy! I don't trust Claire, and I loved watching her squirmy answer to Tim Russert's question about her comments that Bush left black people to die during Katrina. (She said maybe she could have said something better... duh!!!???)

Jared had a baseball game Sunday afternoon and after hitting a home run, he shouted to his teammates "I got a home run, Baby...go tell your Sisters!" (I have no idea where he got that, but he got a big laugh!)

Today was a 12 hour day at the LIBERRY and now I think my ongoing cough has become a cold... GREAT! Tonsillitis, allergies, and this week: A COLD! (Do I know how to have fun, or what?)

Anyhow....I'm beat again and it is only MONDAY! How will this week go? Do I really want to be a part of it? Why can't I be rich enough to just live at Disney World....

Dave

Out of touch, out of time

Where did the time go? I look at my kids and realize how fast they're growing, and then it hits me that I'm getting older too!

Days blur together into weeks, months, years, decades. It's sad in a way, but our ultimate goal is to be with God, right? So as I gather speed towards the finish line I find it rather comforting.

Steven Curtis Chapman said it best when he sang "No better place on Earth, than the road that leads to Heaven..." Still, I feel like I'm so busy that I'm missing out on my Kid's childhoods.

Sure, I'm there a lot, but there are gaps. My older Son is nearly a teenager... recently we watched a video of him at age two, and as I laughed and smiled, I kind of felt like crying...

You're only as old as you feel and right now I feel twenty and eighty at the same time....

David

The big "What ifs"

What if I hadn't been sick most of this week with tonsillitis?

What if tree roots hadn't grown into my plumbing and flooded the basement, costing me time and money?

What if I hadn't wasted my time watching the new TV series "The Class" ?

What if Jared hadn't busted 2 or 3 major things around the house playing baseball and kickball?

What if everyone suddenly decided to be nice to one another?

What if each day was 75 degrees with a slight breeze coming out of the West?

What if I didn't sound so whiney today? (oh yeah, there'd be no blog entry for today....Duh!)

Nice Celebrities vs. Mean, Evil ones

Over the years I've had the chance to encounter several celebrities...some nice, some...not so nice. I've decided to list them here for you, so you'll know who you're dealing with should you run into them somewhere.

1. Kathleen Turner- I thought from her reputation that she'd be difficult, but she was very, very nice...offering to pose for photos and sign autographs for a rather large group of people. She even patted my hand and told me I was "Sweet."

2. Mary Lou Retton- America's Gymnastic Sweetheart was, well... gymnasty towards her fans on the day we met her. My Son, Dustin wanted her autograph and she all but refused to even talk to him, and instead sent an autograph out with one of her reps to hand to him. What a total snob!

3. Buck O'Neil- Legendary Negro League's Baseball Player- Absolutely, without a doubt, the nicest celebrity that I've ever met. At 94 years of age, he still takes the time to sign autographs, shake hands, pat kids on the head and take the time to chat with fans. A total class act all the way!

4. Zack Greinke-show-off-upstart Kansas City Royals Pitcher...won't sign autographs, won't say "Hi" and won't even wave to fans... total head case, avoid at all costs!

5. Mike Sweeney-Kansas City Royals- Super nice guy, kinda hyper. Will bend over backwards to sign autographs, even if his arm is turning purple because he got hit by a 94 mph pitch an hour prior to signing. A great guy and wonderful example for kids.

6. Jeremy Affeldt- Former KC pitcher, now with the Rockies- Will sign anything, anytime, anywhere. Always was the first of the Royals players to greet fans and sign autographs. Won't leave until the last fan has gone away happy.

7. Kent McCord and Martin Milner- "Adam 12" TV stars. I was young when I got to meet these guys. They weren't overly talkative, but did meet and greet fans and sign autographs.

8. George Brett-Hall of Fame Royals star- Nice guy overall, but is usually too busy and ambushed by fans to sign autographs. Too bad...

9. Bradd Pitt- Kind of odd, seemed nervous...wasn't very famous at the time... I didn't even ask for an autograph.

10. Amy Grant-Christian Songstress- Sweet, friendly and very nice. Posed for photos, signed autographs and talked to us one-on-one about life, music and what we were "up to..." Super nice lady.

Crocodile Hunter was a decent guy

Our family was saddened to hear of the sudden, tragic death of Steve Irwin, TV's "Crocodile Hunter." We'd been fans of his for many years and used to make Sunday night our TV night by watching his show as a family.

Whenever he was on "Leno" or one of the other talk shows, we made it a habit of taping them so that the boys could catch him sometime the next day at an earlier hour.

Our prayers go out to his Wife, Terri and their two young children.

So long, Steve... We'll miss you...

-David

You really can't go home again (to Springfield, Missouri)

According to the Springfield News-Leader and Press (www.news-leader.com) Local Barber, Terry Lawson wants to expand his business so that two of his family members (including my old High School Pal, Jeff) can cut hair alongside him and help to accommodate more customers.

Well, the big, bad City Government of Springfield, Missouri is making up excuses and dragging their feet on permits in hopes that Terry will give up on the dream that his Father started some 48 years ago.

I spent plenty of Saturday mornings in Lawson's Barber Shop while in my youth; either getting my hair cut, or waiting to get it cut. Truth is, some Saturdays I didn't want to go because I would rather have been watching "SuperFriends" or "Scooby-Doo." When Harley (Terry's Dad)
caught wind of the fact that some of his younger patrons didn't want to miss cartoons to come in for haircuts, he installed a 9 inch TV and beefed up his collection of comic books. (Knowing full well that Saturday mornings were the best days for Moms and Dads to bring their School age boys to get a cut or a trim).

As I grew older I befriended Harley's Daughter, Jill and became friends with several members of the Lawson family, including Cousin Steve, who later became my best friend. (Ironically, another friend of mine, Jeff, would later grow up to marry Jill...small world, Springfield Mo! And who is coincidentally, the same Jeff who is wanting to work with Terry in his expanded shop!)

So now the city doesn't know what to make of this small family business that has been a success story in spite of all of the "Fantastic Sams" etc...7 day salons that are in competition with Terry and his family's Shop. So rather than give Terry a chance, they'd rather just squash his dreams.

Shame on you, whoever you are! I don't know who is in charge of the red tape in Springfield City Government, but be careful because it is situations like this that may find you bound up in your own red tape!

Good luck Terry, Jeff and Family... I wish for you only the very best!

-Dave

Dreaming Dreamy little Dreams

My friend, "G" and I have been discussing dreams today. I have had some wacky dreams in my time, usually involving friends or people I work with either visiting or working in some strange place. Most recently, my co-workers and I have worked at Disney World. (Huh, wonder why that is?)

"G" on the other hand has dreams involving swimming supermodels and Barney. I've been teasing "G" and asking what she takes before bedtime....but I should talk, because dreams can be weird and wonderful...(not as weird as Barney, perhaps...)

I haven't had any really interesting dreams in awhile...but it isn't like you can flip a channel to the dream that you want either!

At the Bookstore we sell a lot of dream dictionaries, which I think are a load of hooey! They're similar to horoscopes if you ask me. (although I'd love to see what they say about Barney!)

Just teasing you, "G" and you keep on having those crazy, weirdo dreams... after all, it gives us something to talk about at work.

David

Royals offer to kiss and make up

Well, I guess I need to offer a retraction since Renee from the Royals contacted me and offered me replacement tickets...

She explained that they do have a "no reentry" policy, and that all of their employees should be following the same rules...and apologized that they obviously had not been doing so.

I'm okay with that... I'd rather they have a blanket policy than a random one.

And I'm okay with the replacement tickets too.

Thanks, Renee and thank you KC ROYALS.

David

Parent of "Teen Choice Awards" demographic has coronary while viewing

As the parent of a Twelve-Year-Old, I have to say I'm completely mortified by what I saw on Fox television this evening. It was as if Spike TV, MTV and Girls Gone Wild had all invaded FOX for the evening. They then proceeded to rape and pillage the minds of young kids everywhere who tuned into the show hoping to see some of their favorite teen stars.

Okay, so a show that awards surf boards for trophies can't be taken all that seriously, can it? Well the problem with that thinking is that kids who don't take it seriously might want to think again...and parents who don't watch what their kids watch....REALLY SHOULD FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!! Remember the old saying that a "mind is a terrible thing to waste?" If you watch this show, be ready to kill off a bunch of neurons, because you will have wasted plenty of your mind as well as minutes of your life, watching this crap.

Let us begin with Kevin Federline...a.k.a. "Mr. Brittany Spears." In a feat of daring only matched by Vanilla Ice in his heyday, Mr. Federline somehow managed to "ghetto-wannabe" his way through what can charitably be called a song that had entire passages bleeped out. How can FOX (not normally known for their good taste) even think that this poser belongs on their network?
Overcompensating for lack of talent by cussing should never be allowed, nor should it be encouraged...Shame on you FOX!!!

Then there were other comments... Chingy on Love: "First you get all cozy, then you pop some buttons...You know how it goes..." This is advice for teens? OH MY GOSH!!!

Then some teen dancer/singer/employee of a pimp started singing and performing some sort of sexually explicit yoga-dance that most men have only seen in some sort of men's only club.
And get this, she is a teen!!!

Oh, and if that wasn't wonderful enough, after awarding the Disney Channel movie "High School Musical" with an award (one sparse moment of good judgment during the broadcast) they went to a break featuring the guys from "Jackass" doing one of their typically stupid stunts.

I'm not necessarily for censorship, but a little good judgment and maybe showing it on SPIKE or the PLAYBOY channel at a later time in the evening might be a better move.

Come on, FOX.... Grow Up!

David

How I got dissed by the Kansas City Royals

Okay...Here's how it all started...

On Saturday night my in-laws came to pick up our family (the Wife, the Sons and Me) to take us to a Kansas City Royal's game. We had gone for the double-header the previous night and had planned on going on Saturday to see them beat the A's again and collect some George Brett Bobbleheads.

The In-Laws had picked up some Domino's Pizza and some sodas and we were going to tailgate, but when we got to the stadium a rather sizeable crowd had already arrived some two hours prior to the game. Thinking they might run out of bobbleheads we decided to go on into the stadium, collect our bobbleheads and then take them out to the car and eat.

As we approached the gate we could see dozens upon dozens of people returning to their cars with their bobbleheads, so thinking we were on the right track, we entered through the gates.
We approached an employee to inquire as to which gate to go out of so that we might get our hands or tickets stamped for return. The employee then told us that we would not be allowed to return to the stadium if we left.

Knowing full well that we had done this several times in the past, we decided to ask someone else. This employee told us to go to the entrance with the tent and they would let us out and back in, however, when we got to the tented entrance we were told that if we left we could not come back.

There we were...hungry as well as angry about our situation...so we went to guest services which already had a long angry line of fans there...(Wonder why?) We were told that since Sept. 11th the security rules had changed... Excuse me, but WHAT??? The Royals didn't start giving out bobbleheads until around 2003 and we have ALWAYS taken them back to the car before the game...!!!

Not wanting to pay stadium prices and having already seen two previous Royals vs. A's games the evening before we thought we'd let the kids play for a bit, watch batting practice and part of the game and then head to the parking lot for pizza and a ride home.

Since I'm not made of money but do enjoy and support the Royals (SEVERAL TIMES THIS SUMMER!!!) As soon as I arrived home I fired off a "YOU OWE ME MONEY" e-mail to the Royals.

I do understand the need for security, but c'mon you guys lighten up!!! This Sept. 11th thing is getting really out of hand. Why don't you just admit that you had a big crowd and you didn't want to deal with people coming and going? Did you not realize that you would tick off hundreds of fans?

Our family consists of some of the few die-hard Royals fans that you have...do you really want to make us angry? It isn't that we'll desert the team, but we feel as if you don't care enough about us...so, what is up with that???

So I guess I'll just have to be happy with my George Brett (that doesn't look a bit like him) Bobblehead, won't I?

-Dave

Strange and random thoughts

If a Catholic Person and a Jewish Person marry and they have constant arguments about which services to recognize... "Should we go to Mass or celebrate Hanukkah?" If they combine them would it be a "Massukkah?"


Jared's (my Six-Year-old) was asked by his older Cousin the other day...

"Jared, I hear you want to play for the Royals someday..." to which Jared replied...
"Well, If Boston offered me a contract, I might consider that..."

Since the show "Queer Eye" got canceled do you worry that the guys from the show will become "Lazy Eye?"

I can't draw....my teacher said my stick people look fat! (I know, I've told this one a million times, but it's one of my better ones...)

When I was a kid, we were so poor we couldn't afford air for our basketball....we could only dribble it once...

When I was a kid, we were so poor we couldn't afford rope for a swing so we had to sit on a board under the tree and kick our feet up off the ground and yell "wheeeeee."

Dave

Why Walt Disney World has the Best Customer Service on the Planet!

Okay, so just to be clear...I LOVE DISNEY WORLD...I really, really do...!!! And in spite of my undying enthusiasm for them, I went to their web site recently to issue a teeny-tiny complaint about the seating and line situation at their Car Stunt Show at Disney MGM.

Let me say it again, I LOVE DISNEY WORLD...but, after going to several shows where they have the entire audience move all the way to the end so that everyone can get a seat, we arrived at the stunt show (Fast Pass in hand and for those of you who don't know about the fast pass, it allows you to jump to the head of the line at a pre-determined time)...

Anyhow...when we got to the stunt show we discovered that the fast pass line had a couple thousand people in it! (and we were at the back!) So, we slowly follow the crowd all the way around this amphitheater till we get to the bottom of a mountain of stairs. Half-way up the stairs the show starts and the crowd stops moving.

Long story short, we stand in line on the stairs for 10-15 minutes before someone herds us to the top of the stairs, along the back and down the other side to a seat on the FAR SIDE OF THE THEATER!!! So, I shot off a very nice, very cordial e-mail saying that while our trip there was beyond fantastic and nearly perfect, I thought the line and seating situation could have been handled a lot better.

About 3 days later, a very nice, very cordial person name "April McKenzie" or "Mackenzie" or something calls and we have a great visit on the phone about the parks, our trip and the fact that due to my email, they are in the process of revising their seating and line set-up at the stunt show.

"WOW!" I thought, "This is Wonderful customer service if a business like Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida can take the time to handle all of their complaints one-on-one!" I mean, really, they have about a billion people a day in their parks and they're going to deal with my piddly little problem as if it is a HUGE, Mammoth, Disruptive occurrence? Amazing!

I told April that I thought she was a terrific representative for their company and that she deserved a raise and I thought she should tell her boss that I said so.
You know me...I couldn't let it go... A couple of days later I fired off another e-mail to Corporate Disney and told them that I thought April was a terrific representative for their company and that it was a pleasure doing business with them and that their customer service was over-the-top and the best I'd ever received.

So what do those crazy nuts at Disney do? Thomas (who talks a bit fast so I didn't catch his last name) calls from the Executive Offices at Walt Disney World and tells "Thank you" for Thanking them and that Yes, April is one of their best employees and that she was being recognized for her achievements based on my call.

Dang! Thanking me for thanking them? I LOVE WALT DISNEY WORLD! Do you think they'd let me live there?

Dave

Why am I blogging when I should be asleep

Okay, I have insomnia...
I've read the newspaper...
I've checked my e-mail...
I had a snack...
Now I'm blogging...
Please just let me get some sleep!

Bigots of every kind

Okay, today is a good day to rant. Over the weekend, someone I know had the gall to call me a male chauvinist because I am Pro-Life. Then this person went on to say that because I am a Conservative, I will only vote for Pro-Life candidates who are willing to cut Medicare, school funding, welfare and all social programs.

Hmmm... Interesting.... Obviously this person (and if you know them, they think they are ALWAYS right) is totally wrong. This you know if you know me at all.

Here are the reasons that this person is wrong:

1. I love and respect women. Just because I am pro-life, does not mean I am anti-woman.
This is one of those insane Howard Dean-like statements designed to rally the Liberal base.
Maybe they should listen to Democrat Tim Russert who said after the 2004 election that if
Democrats ever hope to win a modern election they may have to realize that just because
Republicans have differing opinions, this does not make them stupid.

2. I have voted for candidates that were Pro-abortion. Although this would not normally be my
first choice, it is not the deciding factor. It is a HUGE factor, don't get me wrong, however,
if the candidate meets my other criteria, then I might be able to move a bit on one or two other points. (oh, and please don't say that if they think abortion is okay that they are not "Pro-
abortion" they are "Pro-Reproductive Rights!!!" Reproductive rights does not mean
stopping reproduction!!!)

3. If I had called anyone a male chauvinist, I would have been called an intolerant Republican.

4. I tend to lean toward the right politically, but if there is another candidate from another
party that shows me that they can do a better job...They will get my vote. Case in point,
Mike Sanders, our current county Prosecutor, who I would vote for in a second. He is a Democrat, and according to some of my friends, fairly liberal, however, I'd vote for him in a second. He's fair, he's tough on crime and he's honest.

5. Honesty... If my acquaintance would inject this into their blunt, blowhard ways, it might
this person's rantings a bit more tolerable...But then again, I'm an intolerant Republican...
Remember?

6. This stupid ranting about Republicans killing off social programs should have stopped a long,
long time ago... President Bush has (mistakenly in my opinion) spent more on social
programs than any president in history. I think sometimes he thinks he can buy his way out
from under bad criticisms. Unfortunately, he has spent money like a drunken sailor, and
while I like the man, he is far from the fiscal Conservative I thought I was voting for.
(I still shudder at the thought of what a Kerry or Gore Presidency would have brought!!!)

Dave

Dumb stuff

Pamela Anderson

some blogs (not mine, of course)

Pamela Anderson marrying Kid Rock

books with "Sex" in the title that aren't self-help books

Paris Hilton (a "dumb stuff" all-star)

music where the singers scream so much that you can't understand the lyrics
music where the music is so loud you can't understand the lyrics
music where the singers mumble so much that you can't understand the lyrics

tattoos

thong underwear on girls too young to wear it (who are then showing it off in public!)

boxer shorts worn by guys who refuse to wear a belt or wear their jeans above their butts so that we can see their stupid boxer shorts! And then they hold their crotches so their pants don't fall down!!! What is up with that???

most reality shows...especially elimidate and blind date...oh, and Cheaters..it's worse than Springer!!!

The fact that Howard Dean is praised for compairing Republicans to Nazis while Mel Gibson is roasted alive for saying stupid stuff about Jewish people... Yes it was dumb, but he's apologized..get over it...(Howard, we're still waiting for your apology!)

Praising the Dixie Chicks for being "brave" for spouting anti-Bush, anti-American crap, but then saying you'd like to slap Ann Coulter for saying dopey stuff about 9/11 Widows... if you don't like it, don't listen to it!!! But if you're going to praise one as "Free Speech" you'd better support the other one too!

Summer Television...come on! When do "Lost" and "The Office" start back? I'm dyin' here!

Weird stuff my six-year-old has said to me recently

When we arrived in Atlanta on our way to Florida, Jared ran to the window of the airport and turned to ask me "Dad, where's the Ocean?" When I told him there wasn't one there, he gave me a skeptical look and said "Dad...the Atlanta Ocean???!!!???"

Yesterday one of Jared's friends invited him to go swimming and Jared was telling me that their pool was "really, really big" and so I ask him where it was (knowing that they had a small back yard) and he said "It's at the wide." So, I'm guessing they're going swimming at the "wide." (The "Y")

David

10 words your child should know by the 1st Grade

I've been reading several books lately along the lines of "100 words your child should know by the 1st Grade" and that sort of thing, in order to help bolster my six-year-old's vocabulary. A disturbing thing I've noticed is that they've left out several words that I feel are essential for the growth and development of a Child's mind...and here they are:

1. God
2. Please
3. Thank you (okay, carp away...two words...big deal!)
4. Sir
5. Ma'am
6. Excuse Me (skip it, okay?)
7. No Thank you (3 and counting)
8. Amen
9. Jesus (in a good way!)
10. Love

See, I can be serious once in awhile... why don't you see if your kids know these words?

David

Top 10 reasons to take a Disney Vacation

10. Pirates of the Caribbean---okay, so the TV and newspapers have been covering the movie like it's the best thing since sliced cheese...and to be honest, I haven't seen the film, but I did ride the ride, and hokey as it is, I loved it! The new Depp effects are pretty life-like too!

9. Big Thunder Mountain Railroad---according to Jared (my Six-year-old) it was the best 3 minutes of his entire life.

8. Goofy---move over, Mickey! The Cox family likes the Goofmeister! We also liked meeting Buzz and Woody, Pluto and a bunch of the Universal characters at their park...But hey, where was Donald? Never even saw him once!!!

7. The atmosphere---Cinderella's Castle tells you when you've really arrived at the park, and the detail that Disney adds to everything else just makes the experience perfect. (Kudo's to Universal too!)

6. Prices---yeah, it's pricey, but the experience is worth it...plus, the food prices weren't near as bad as I expected.

5. Goofy's Barnstormer---(I think that's what they called it???) Kiddie coaster that goes pretty fast...it was great! Jared wanted to ride it again and again...heck, Dustin liked it too!

4. Star Tours---Wasn't as good as some of the other Flight Simulator rides, but still cool to walk through the forests of Endor and past R2 and C3po.

3. Indiana Jones Stunt Show---Very good recreation of the movie's various scenes including exploding cars and rolling boulders. Funny, loud and well done!

2. Twilight Zone Tower of Terror---hands down the best ride I've ever ridden. Lures you into the Twilight Zone and then knocks the wind right out of you!

1. Mickey's Philharmagic---3D interactive movie that has to be seen to be believed. Incredible 3D effects combined with scents, puppets, air, water etc... (honorable mention goes to Disney MGM's "Muppet 3D," Universal's "Terminator" and "Shrek 4D," which also use some of the same effects as "Mickey's Philharmagic." We loved them all!)

More on Disney later, including things we hated...

David

Wonderfalls

I'm here to talk you all into watching one of those great, undiscovered TV series that died an untimely death. I could go on and on about some great shows like "Freaks and Geeks" and "Brooklyn Bridge" (Both of which you should watch, by the way!!!) But today's lesson will be about the strange and wonderful "Wonderfalls."

The series is about young college graduate, Jaye (played by Caroline Dhavernas) and her mixed-up family... Sharon, her Mom (Diana Scarwid), Dad Darrin(William Sadler), Sarcastic Sister Karen (Katie Finneran) and atheist Theologian Brother Aaron (Lee Pace).

One day, Jaye is on a break from her job at the "Wonderfalls Gift shop" which is located right next to Niagara Falls, when she nearly chokes to death while eating her lunch. When she recovers, she discovers that some of the Tchotchkes that she sells, now talk to her. (Strangely enough, it's only the ones with animal faces).

Jaye is not the most likeable person, and much to her dismay she finds that the animals are telling her (ordering her is more like it!) to do good deeds for people. At first she thinks maybe it's the Devil's doing, or that she's gone crazy (which is the opinion of those around her), but then she realizes it may be God at work in one of his mysterious ways.

Along the way, (of the storyline) she and her friend Mahandra (Tracie Thoms) run into Eric (Tyron Leitso) who is the new bartender at the "Barrel" restaurant where Mahandra works. It seems that Eric's Wife has dumped him on his honeymoon and he's decided to make Niagara Falls his new home, and over the course of the 13 episodes of the series, he decides that maybe he wants to make Jaye his girlfriend.

The show is quirky beyond belief and I totally understand why it was canceled. I don't think most people will latch on to a show where most of the characters aren't really all that nice, and the situations are often confusing...HOWEVER, the acting, writing and the tone of the show are Fantastic, and I loved the "Indie-Film" feel of the show and the unusual setting for the series.

Of course, the whole "God-talking through toys" part of the show might offend someone as might the fact that Karen is a Lesbian and there is also a larger than normal amount of foul language in some of the episodes... Strangely enough, it was quirky enough to catch my attention, and I buzzed through all 13 episodes in just a few short days... Now I wish there were more episodes!!!

Darn the FOX network for killing this show... It's on DVD now...So watch it!!!

Top ten nicknames for my friend Mel

10. Melanie (actually her name, but no one ever calls her that)
9. Melanoma (sort of grows on you...)
8. Melicious (mean, don't you think?)
7. Melavision (same time, same station)
6. Meltron (futuristic robotic mel)
5. Melodious (has a nice sound to it)
4. Melted (she's kinda hot)
3. Smel (she smells purty)
2. Melvin (meet Howard, Howard, this is Melvin)
1. Melavator (we all have our ups and downs)

Top 10 Reasons to Avoid a Disney Vacation

10. Richard Simmons recently sighted in Tinkerbell Costume.
9. Walt Disney bacwards spells tlaW yensiD.... creepy, huh?
8. You'll have to watch out for that one guy, he's Goofy!
7. Odd coincidence that Sleepy, Happy, Dopey, Grumpy, Sneezy, Bashful are also 6 of the 7
stages of PMS.
6. Michael Jackson seen at park offering "rides."
5. Have to put up with female park visitors commenting on Johnny Depp's "Pirate Booty."
4. If you have to walk the whole park, it really isn't a small world after all!
3. The never ending debate about a Duck with no pants and a Mouse with no shirt.
2. All the darned tourists!
1. Giant rodent infestation!!!

(copyright 2006, David Cox incorporated)

Just ask Dave

Lately it seems I've been inundated with letters asking for advice on life, health and matters of the heart. The following are just a few of the thousands of cries for help that I've received.


Dear Dave,

What time of day should I water my lawn?

Lisa R. Des Moines, Iowa

Thanks for writing, Lisa. I always find it best to water my lawn at dusk, that way it has a chance to soak in overnight, and causes less damage to your lawn, due to the heat of the sun.


Dear David,

My Dad won't let me listen to whatever kind of music I want to. Not only that, but he won't let me watch "R" rated movies! What do you think of that?

Dustin C. Independence, Missouri

Uh, Dustin, can we discuss that later?

Dear Dave,

My husband says he'd like to spice up our marriage by playing with toys...are there any you would suggest?

Sarah P. Omaha, Nebraska

That's a tricky question, Sarah...but I'd have to say an etch-a-sketch might be fun, or maybe silly putty...but not a slinky, never a slinky!

Dear Dave,

What kind of tree would you like to be?


Anonymous New York, NY

Barbara Walters, is that you? (oh, and to answer your question... a Douglas Fir)

Dear David,

What is the fastest land animal?

Teddy K. Washington, D.C.

Good Question, Ted... The Cheetah is the fastest land animal.

Dear David,

If you could have dinner with 6 people from any time in history, who would it be?

Keith T. Topeka, KS.

Wow, great Question! I'd have to say Jesus, of course, followed by Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Stewart and Abraham Lincoln. Then I'd want Ben Franklin and Martin Luther King to be there too. I have a million questions for all of them!

What books would you rate as your favorites?

Anonymous bookstore clerk, Independence, Mo

Thanks for asking, Anonymous... 1. The Bible 2. A Prayer for Owen Meany 3. Shoeless Joe 4. The Catcher in the Rye 5. Purpose Driven Life

Hey Dave,

Boxers or Briefs?

Hillary C. New York

Actually, Hillary...I prefer thong underwear.

Dear Dave,

I have two coins that equal 30 cents, and one of them isn't a quarter... what coins do I have?

Zach B. Hollywood, CA

Wait, I know this one...it was on the Mensa test, wasn't it?


Well, kids...that's it for this week.... I'll try to run some more questions soon!

Have a great fourth of July!

David

Evil White Republican Male

After yesterday's blog I received a comment from a friend that my negative comments needed a counterpoint...so on her blog she referred to me as her "friend...the Evil White Republican Male."

So, I jokingly called her my "snide black libretarian female" friend... Now, my question is... was I being politically incorrect, or was she? (or were we?)

I think amongst friends, it's safe to label one another...(and in the right situation it can be sexy and fun, but I digress...)

In any event, when I wrote yesterday's blog, I was trying to be funny while making a point..(yes Gail, I know...keep trying!) But I didn't even think of it as being negative. (snarky and snide? yes. Negative? No.)

Another friend asked if I'd had a bad day. Wow! Did no one get my humor at all?
I can understand my good friend, Crackbaby not getting it, but then again, he's still stumped about how people fit into the box when he's watching TV...(again, I digress...)

That being said, I hereby dedicate yesterday's post to Crackbaby...who I know will never read it because if he does it might offend him knowing that behind his back several people call him "crackbaby." Then again, he might not get it...

Dave

Top 10 Things that Tick me Off!

10. Cell Phones: I can't stand them! Especially in traffic or in stores... As soon as people turn them on, their manners go out the window.

9. 14-year-old girls who dress like they're in college and swear like sailors! I work in public a lot, and I see a lot of bad behavior, but there's nothing worse than a burping, giggling, half-dressed-trash talker who should be home watching the Disney Channel!

8. Bad service in stores/restaurants, etc... I hate it when I feel like I have to interrupt a sales person to get their attention. Even worse is at a restaurant when you ask a question and get "I don't know" for an answer! (or when they screw up your order at the drive-thru!!!)

7. Bad Drivers...Okay, if you want to end your life on the highway by speeding and swerving in and out of lanes, be my guest! Just leave me out of it, okay?

6. People who blame the President for everything. Am I crazy about his every decision? No, but for Pete's sake, he didn't kill Jimmy Hoffa and he didn't start Vietnam! He did not shoot Abraham Lincoln and he didn't put Charles Manson up to anything! Give the guy a break once in a while...GEEZ!

5. Top Ten Lists (I was going to say people with food in their teeth, but I just remembered I didn't floss after lunch!)

4. Mohawks and Goth Gear... I know you're trying to make a fashion statement, but the only statement you're making is "Help! I can't dress myself!" And I really hope the Huron Indians come and kick your butts for stealing their Hair styles!

3. People who say "Really?" after you just told them something.... (No, I'm lying....)

2. Crack Babies... Yeah, they look all helpless, but are they really?

1. People who don't read my blog...

Things I did and said today...

Got up this morning and went to Arrowhead Stadium with my Sons, Dustin and Jared... Had a Chiefs mini-camp practice session to see. Got to see Trent Green, Tony, Dante and the boys play. My Jared, was excited to see Jared Allen (who he met a couple of months ago)...and we got to meet Larry Johnson... Was a good day, and the team looked great!

Tonight I worked with my old buddies, Mel and Mary at B&N....( I worked with several other good buddies, but Mary and Mel and I always work best together and have a lot of fun coming up with dumb jokes and puns...)

I managed to come up with the following: As I was shelving a Dutch/English Dictionary, I told Mel I'd like to buy it, did she want to go in half on the price? (get it? If you don't I pity you...)

Mary was telling me about the tacky Magazine and Smoke shop near her friend's house called "Mags and Fags," so I ask her if the other stores ever form a gang and beat up that store.

I asked Mel where to shelve a book about "How to live with a controlling man who bosses you around" and then I handed it to her and told her to "Just shut up and shelve it..." She laughed, it's all good...

Dave

The Legend of Big Poop

As I recall it was a Friday night the first time that Big Poop made an appearance at the Store. (You know the store...It's that big bookstore chain with the initials B&N). I had just finished taking my break with my old pal, Scott...When nature called.

I walked from the breakroom to the men's room and as soon as I entered the restroom, a foul odor wafted up towards my nostrils. Now, as a Scout Leader who has done some time at Scout Camp, you never really ever forget your first whiff of campground latrine...But this, my friend, was much, much worse!

I approached the stall with trepidation. "What if there was a decomposing body in there?" I thought. I crept slowly across the room, catching a glance of myself in the mirrors above the sink. I looked pale in the fluorescent light of the Men's Room...or was I just scared?

Quietly and cautiously I opened the stall door a few inches at a time. There it was, lying in the toilet, taking up a lot of space, displacing most of the water...heck, sticking three whole inches out of the water! But, what was it? A human head? It was kind of close in size to a human head. A Fisher-Price Schoolbus? No, toy schoolbuses weren't that big. A Football? No, it wasn't the right shape. A Loaf of bread? Nope, but it was a loaf of something...

It was the dung of the legendary "BIG POOP." I ran to the breakroom not sure if I should laugh or gag. Scott was just finishing his break when I dashed through the door. "Man," I said..."I know you just finished eating, but you've got to come see this!"

"What is it?" He asked innocently, not knowing that in a very few minutes his life would be changed forever. I asked "Scott, do you have a weak stomach?" He answered "No, I'm good, what have you got?" "You tell me..." I answered.

Scott threw open the stall door. "What the heck is that?" He asked, leaning over the stool. "Is it what I think it is?"

"I think so..." I answered. "But what could have done it?"
"Big foot?" He asked.
"Maybe." I answered.

We went and got Jeremy to see if he could verify what it was. "Oh Man!" Jeremy said. "That is so foul!" And then he walked away. Never to return.

We told the Manager, who looked at us with doubt on her face. "Can you flush it?" She asked.
"I don't think so..." I said.

We tried to flush it several times. The water would fill up around the poop, but it wouldn't budge. "Maybe we could break it up with something." Scott suggested. "What," I asked, "Dynamite? Maybe if we keep flushing, it will erode."

Finally, I happened upon the broken handle of a plunger. "This might do it," I said and I began to chip away at it. The smell was overpowering as I chopped the concrete-block sized dookey down to hundreds of floating nuggets. After four flushes all that remained were a few tell-tale smudges and one tired employee.

It was on that night four years ago, that we first found the Big Poop. Now, every Wednesday night with stunning regularity, we still find big poop in the men's room. We think we know who its creator is. A man that we call "The Poop Fairy." To this day he continues to leave us U-Boats (because they start at the bottom of the bowl, and still manage to break the surface) in the toilet of stall number #1. The sight of many unspeakable horrors.

Legend has it, that if you visit between 5PM and 10PM on a Wednesday night...you too might see Big Poop...the stuff that legends are made of.

David

(Unfortunately the events listed above are all true. Names have not been changed because no one mentioned is really all that innocent...)

Stoopid things I done did... I did done... Whatever

I know, you're thinking..."Dave did something stupid? How absurd? It's not possible! It's unthinkable! It's unimaginable!"

Yes, it's true...I have done dumb, dumb, dumb things. Many times...sometimes even in the same day! Stop your gasping, and get a grip, will you? It is true! And the following things are some stupid acts that I have perpetrated while on this planet.

1. Broke my fingers trying to fix my neighbor's car. How did I do this? I got my fingers caught in the fanbelt of my neighbor's car when she accidentally started it while I was attempting to get ice off of her fanbelt. Why was I trying to fix her car when I was 14 and new NOTHING about fixing cars? The better question is how the devil did she get ice INSIDE her ENGINE???

2. Cut my legs up a bit while tightrope walking on a barbed wire fence. I think the answer is evident already as to what happened there.

3. Went bike riding barefoot down one of the biggest hills in Strafford, Missouri. You know that didn't turn out well. I still have pictures of myself disguised as a giant scab. I had a scab on my forehead the size of a baseball; one on my chin, one on each hand and both knees, and one on each of my elbows...(where I still have the scars). Guess what? When you're going 40 MPH on a bike with no shoes on....there's only one way to stop...by landing on the pavement...

4. Sledded off of a cliff. This one was much more exciting, because blood on snow looks really gross! I was sledding with a friend down my neighbor's tall, winding driveway...he fell off, which propelled the sled forward and made me lose control. The tree slowed me down a bit, but that was after I had flown about 8 feet through the air. Then there was the 10 foot drop to the rocks below. Concussion and bloody nose followed, along with a very banged up knee.

5. Jumped off the roof into a shrub. Darn you Six-Million-Dollar-Man! You gave a 10 year old boy false hopes and expectations!!! I hope your bionic woman shorted-out, you twit!

Whew! That's a load off of my mind and my chest! To think that I had all of these dopey things on my conscience since I was a kid! I'm so glad I haven't done anything dumb since then.

David

Another one I moved over from the old blog...

Let the Music be your time machine...
By DavidCox
It's funny how you can be driving on a jam-packed highway filled with the biggest idiots and wanna-be Nascar champs, and some old song will start to play on the radio, and suddenly, you're back in time, and the moment of that song will be as real to you as if it were yesterday.
I can't think of any Lionel Ritchie song without thinking of my 8th grade year. My Mom let me have a boy/girl party in the basement and we all danced under black lights while Lionel sang "Once, twice, three times a lady..." My best Friend, Jeff Fleetwood had just broken up with a girl and he just about lost it... I remember trying to cheer him up and not ignore my girlfriend at the same time...
I was listening to Christian radio yesterday in the car, when a blue Mazda plowed into the rear of the white delivery van next to me...it was unnerving, but Chris Tomlin was singing "How great is our God" on the radio, and I was singing along, thinking about a church service in the park that we had gone to last summer.
"Summer Winds" by Frank Sinatra makes me think of living back home in Strafford, Missouri... There was one summer that I was thinking of being a film director, and I videotaped everything and anything, including a piece that was basically a windy summer day with that song playing, while the tall grass in the field outside my window blew, and our horses ate blackberries off the vine while my dogs, Ginger and Bear sprawled out on the lawn. I get sentimental just thinking about it...I'm glad I still have it on tape.
There are so many songs...."Hold onto the nights" by Richard Marx, is the song that was playing in the car the night that Sherry and I had our first date. For years I played it on our anniversary and it was even in our wedding. I'll have to remember to play that for her this year...it really takes me back...
David

Neighborhood Watch

This past Sunday, our Preacher gave an amazing (as usual) sermon regarding "community" and how important it is. He used Neighborhood watch as an example of how we should all look out for each other.

He also mentioned that there are times we should come together as a community to support one another and to help other people see in places where they might have a "blind spot." There are times when I rely so much on Sherry that I don't think I could ever get through an entire day without her.

His point was that we should rely on God, as well as one another to help get through each and every day. He explained that you need someone to "watch your back" in times of trouble and also in times of peace. We should all try to be sympathetic and loving towards our friends and our family, so that if someone needs us, we're already there!

You know that there is someone out there that you've been meaning to write, or call, or go see...and maybe you're busy, or you've been "meaning" to do it, but that begs the question...
Have you?

I'm just as guilty of this as anyone, and I'm not trying to preach...(I'll leave that to those who are smarter than I). But to borrow a slogan from NIKE... Just do it! We need friends...we need family...we need each other. You know God didn't make us to be alone...

Thank you, Pastor Fred (www.esbc.com is where you can listen to his sermon on this topic).
For making me think about my friends and my family...my community as it were...

I hope to hear from some of you soon...

David

Why I miss living in Strafford, Missouri

Don't get me wrong....I love living in Kansas City. There are so many things to see and do here and over the past 15.5 years we've made a lot of friends that I am so blessed to know. Still, every so often I get hit with this melancholy feeling of "what if?"

Not that I wish I'd never gotten married or had kids, but "what if I'd done that and stayed in Strafford?" Would I be happy? Yes, I think I would be...I was always pretty happy there, and for as many friends as we have up here, we probably had twice as many in the Strafford/Springfield area.

My biggest regret in moving away is that I've lost touch with so many people over the years. While I still hear from friends occasionally, it's just not the same as being there with them. I miss my friends and family sometimes.

I'm a gregarious guy... And so, when I was in High School and College, I didn't have just one best friend...I had about 10. (granted, one or two of them were my best, best friends) It wasn't unusual for 10 or 15 of us to go to Pizza Inn on Glenstone and spend a couple of hours just laughing and talking on a Friday or Saturday night. Sometimes we'd hit a movie or go to Putt Putt and play golf or ride the go-karts. Other times we'd go back to my house and play pool...Drink Dr. Pepper and eat Kool Ranch Doritos and little Debbie cakes...

My crowd included Sherry, Steve, Klauspeter, Klaus, Martin, Jeff, Marty, Deanne, Tim, Mark, Angel, Paula, Gayla, Shawn, Debbie, Dave, David, Dennis, Dan, Jeff, Jill, Jeff, Mark, Jennifer, Ross, Steve, Mark, Elaine...And people that I worked with at the video store and/or Frankos at North Town Mall... There were a bunch of us. Now, we didn't all run around at the same time, necessarily, but there were plenty of times that we'd all meet up somewhere and just hang out. (If I've left anyone out of the above list...My apologies....I'm older now, and it's late...So I'm forgetfull.) Many times people would bring other friends along, so who knew "who" would show up?

Strafford was a simpler time...A youthful time. Other than buying gas (at 67 cents a gallon!!!), I didn't have a lot of bills to pay, and I could spend money on Sherry, or go out and eat with friends a couple of nights each week.

Strafford meant peacefulness... Strafford meant safety... Strafford meant "the good old days..."

I love my life now, but how can you not get nostalgic over the time spent with friends so long ago...In Strafford.

Reminder from the old blog....

New website to look at Movie Fans
By DavidCox
Hey guys, take a minute to check out my Buddy Heith's new web site:

www.movie-popcorn.com

It's a good site for movie reviews.... I give it two thumbs up!


David

Because Children are sensitive...

Hi Peoples,

Tonight was Jared's first baseball game of the season, and while they played "okay" a few mistakes were made. Because Children are sensitive, I've replaced the actual names of the Children with random words so that no one will be offended and no child will be singled out for their "achievements."

This evening our opposition was the nefarious New York "cottonballs" junior team. The began the first inning by outbatting, out running and out playing us in every way. It started when their first batter "stinky" hit a hard grounder to our pitcher, "sugar-pie," who proceeded to bobble the ball and drop it repeatedly before throwing it over the head of our first basemen "blare-ed." (don't think I mean Jared, cause I don't).

Anyway, the next batter "bubblebutt," smacks one out toward the shortstop, "blue eyes," who is more interested in getting the booger off of his finger then to actually put his glove on and catch something other than boogers! He finally picks up the ball, and throws it waaaaay past our first baseman, "scare-head." (again, clearly I am Not referring to Jared here.)

Then, this one kid, "creepy-boy," slams one right at two of our outfielders, "lemony" and "minty-fresh" who are talking about the dandelions behind second base as they blow dandelion bits all over God's green Earth! Meanwhile, the talented first baseman, "rare-ed," is left with nothing to do.

"Wormnose Weasel-ears" comes up to bat and knocks in three runners, one right after the other, despite the fabulous attempt by "snare-led" the firstbaseman, to a try and tag the runner out. We did have some good hits from "Curly," "Happy" and "vanilla scented candle," but it wasn't enough to overcome a 10 run lead. And please don't think that "barf-face's" triple made a difference in this game.... so what if he's the "Cottonballs" best player!

Even though the "cottonballs" are clearly marvelous children, I can only wish the very worst for them, as they made our catcher, "sherbet," cry... How dare they!

We'll meet again, evil "cottonballs," you haven't seen the last of us!

David

Get your freak on with Zane

Warning: The following blog contains iffy content that might offend, confuse, perplex, confound, or amuse you...

The other night at the bookstore I work at...(you know the one, its initials are B&N)... a young, African American couple approached me and the male of the duo asked "Can you show us where Zane's books are?"

Zane, for those of you not in-the-know, is a VERY popular black author whose "afro-centric urban erotica" is all the rage these days. Anyway, I told them that I'd show them where the books were, and led them to the end of the fiction section to where Zane has several titles, which are all about "hooking up" or "hitting it..." (which sounds more like an act of violence than an act of sex)

As I handed one of the books to the young lady, I mentioned the price of the book, how much it would cost if she had one of our membership cards, etc... They thanked me, then I thanked them and began to walk away... When the young man said "Don't think this book is for me, it's for this freaky a** b**** here," he said as he pointed to the girl. To which she rightfully replied "Shut up!" as she smacked him on the arm.

Now, maybe I'm not up on my terms of endearment these days, but I don't ever recall labeling my Wife a freaky a** b****. First of all, I've never even thought of calling a woman that, not even my wife in one of my angrier moments. (Granted, I did once refer to a woman blocking traffic with her PLYMOUTH as a "fat cow," which of course, Dustin at the age of three, went around repeating for MONTHS!!!)

Sherry and I jokingly called each other "Lover Muffin" for awhile when dating, because we wanted to come up with something silly to call each other, but I don't think freaky a** b**** ever came up in the discussion as to what we should name ourselves.

I don't know this young lady, but from her looks, she didn't seem to be a you-know-what, but then again, I've been married for nearly 17 years and I'm not sure I even know what that would look like...(nor do I want to). I'm guessing you can find a picture of one on the internet or in Maxim magazine or something, but if I did a google image search for that, I'd be afraid that I might find out exactly what a freaky a** b**** is, wears and does.... eeek!

I guess if Sher and I ever need to spice up our love life, I could start calling her that, but I really have too much respect for her, and I don't think it would be appropriate to call her that even in jest.

Have young people totally lost it? Manners, morals, etc.... Seem to be falling by the wayside at an alarming rate. My advice...Stay away from the freaky a** b****** of the world.... And if you're so inclined, you can always read about them in the newest book by Zane.

Dave

You think Daniel Powter has had a bad day?

I'm getting sick of that song... you know the one, "Bad Day" or whatever it's called...the Daniel Powter song that they play every time that someone gets canned on "American Idol." It's not enough that the song is saturating television, but its on the radio all of the time and they're even playing it in the bookstore where I work!

So let me tell you about my day... My shoulder and elbow are still killing me. Those of you who know me know that I've had three rotator cuff surgeries in the past 8 years, two of which were on my right shoulder. Last week I got cocky pitching to the J-man (my six year old boy), and since my last shoulder surgery 1.5 years ago, I finally realized I'd gotten my throwing arm back.
(I missed it, since it had been gone for about 10 years!!!)

So now that my accuracy is back and my speed is up, I've been doing a lot of pitching. A few weeks ago I even won a t-shirt for throwing a strike at a Dick's Sporting Goods Store. (Dustin got one too, as did Jared who then bested us by throwing a perfect strike at a hole the size of a softball, and in the process won $75.00 dollars worth of free stuff... it's great getting beat by a 6-year-old)

Anyway, I've been pitching soooooo well that I pulled a muscle in my shoulder and hyper-extended (that's strained for you uninformed) my elbow. Wheee.... so in addition to feeling kinda crappy about that, the steroids (not the illegal Barry Bonds ones) and the pain killers make me feel barfy and dizzy and sort of drunk-ish...(not that I would know about that!)

This weekend was fun, even though Sher has a weird eye infection and I have a goofy arm.
We went to Kansas to my Nephew's basketball tourney, which they won! Sher and the boys went with my Sister in Law and Nephew to World's of Fun... and then yesterday we went to see the Royals play...(see previous rant about people being unkind to the Royals...how dare they?)

Went to church and heard Pastor Fred give another fantastic sermon...(you can hear him at www.esbc.com ) He's always great, and he makes me think! Which is good! Thinking is good!
(repeat that!) Then we went to see our friend, Jeff, who is a policeman, and who rolled his car while chasing an armed robber on Saturday. He had minor cuts, which is a lot less than his car got out of the deal... I think his car is beyond repair. You'd have to see it to believe it. I'd say he's very fortunate, and I'm glad it wasn't worse...

So today it was back to work... I was drowsy... a lot! I'm hoping tomorrow is better since I'm working both jobs...oh, man! I'm working both jobs Wednesday too! I'm going to be tired...........
Guess I'd better get off here and get my beauty sleep. (From my looks I need about a month or two of sleep!)

Good night, sleep tight.... (I'm not really sure what that means, but whatever...)

Dave

Kansas City Royals...who says they stink?

Okay, so last weekend (not the one that just ended, but the one previous), Jack Harry, a local "Sports Guy" for the NBC station here in K.C. was going on and on about the death of the KC Royals and how the season was over...

It was all I could do to keep from climbing through the TV screen and smacking him one...(not that I would, cause that would not be very Christian of me...but I was thinkin' it real hard!)
Anyway, that was just one week after we had beat the Chi Sox twice!!! You've heard of them, right? The number one team in the American League? We beat them!

So then this weekend (yesterday and the day before) we somehow managed to beat the Indians...(wait, aren't they the number two team in the American League Central? How could that have happened?)

Well, Jack Harry and the rest of you doubters, shame on YOU! The Royals may not be out of the woods yet, but speaking as someone who was at the game yesterday...(in fantastic seats too, I might add...thanks, Gary!) They played everything as close to perfect as I've seen them play in years...and this was without Sweeney producing, and without Sanders and DeJesus on the field! Now, how is that possible, Jack Harry? The worst team in BASEBALL HISTORY just kicked the butts of two of the most formidable teams this season. Oh, must have been an accident...oops, I bet the Royals didn't even mean to win, did they?

Clam up Jack!...why don't you adopt a wait and see attitude before you start dissing my boys in blue? I can't wait to get back out there and see them play again! Until then, I'll just be here singing "Take me out to the ballgame...."

Dave

The Best shows on television 2006

Hi guys,

Haven't done any reviews in a LOOOOOONG time, but thought I'd do one of those "lists" that critics like to do every so often... here goes... best shows on TV 2006 (open to debate as long as you know I'm right!)

1. "LOST" (ABC) nowhere in the history of television will you find a cast as diverse, plots so complex and intrigue so palpable. "Lost" could very well be in the top ten television shows...EVER! Plus, it has one of the best casts on TV.

2. "The Office" (American Version) (NBC) when I first started watching it last year, I felt it was a pale imitation of the British version, however...somewhere along the way it began to pick up steam and now I am totally hooked on this goofy, insane show. It may even be better than "Seinfeld..."


3. "Scrubs" (NBC) year after year, this series seems to redefine what funny is. The cast is perfect, and the writing is totally whacked-out! I love all of the pop-culture references, and you will never find a better buddy team than Turk and J.D.! Plus it gets bonus points for having a character with my last name... You tell them, Dr. Cox!

4. "Boston Legal" (ABC) although you never can tell if it's going for the heart or the funny bone, this show has a lot going for it...namely... Candace Bergen, William Shatner, James Spader, Julie Bowen, Mark Valley, Betty White, Tom Selleck, Michael J. Fox, Adam Arkin...and on and on and on. (I could do without the writer's constantly reminding me what an "evil" President we have and how the war in Iraq is wrong... but mostly the dialogue is steller)

5. "SportsCenter"--- (ESPN) Okay, I know...it's a news show, but so what? I can keep up with the MLB scores, the NBA scores and still find out what Barry Bonds is up to... how can you beat that?

6. "American Idol" (FOX) not a great show on the level of "LOST," but still, you can't beat a good old fashioned singing competition...and this year, Taylor, Chris, Paris, Kathryn and Kelli
are all practically neck and neck. (My guess: Chris, but Taylor, Kathryn, Kelli or Paris would be just fine as well!)

7. "The West Wing" (NBC) another show that tends to show America at it's worst, however it has a "Boston Legal" type cast that can't be beat! Too many stars to name, but Jimmy Smits and Alan Alda are the frosting on the cake. Although they seem to be skimping on the Alda lately. (and I miss John Spencer, who was one of the best actors ever!)

8. "My name is Earl" (NBC) one of the funniest, tackiest shows I've ever seen on TV. Funny, funny, funny.... and I grew up knowing people kind of like this!

9. "Alias" (ABC) this show has had a rough couple of years, and yet it still manages to shock me. (Like when Vaughn confessed to Sydney that he wasn't really who she thought he was, only to be nearly killed in a car wreck 2 seconds later!!! WOW!) Jennifer Garner is a doll, and a heck of an actress too. Victor Garber is fantastic!!! Get this guy an Emmy!!! Ron Rifkin is smooth, polished and deadly... what more can you ask for?

10. "Three Wishes," (NBC) "Surface," (NBC) "Invasion" (ABC)... I seriously hope that "wishes" and "surface" come back next season... "wishes" is the only TV show I've ever cried during (not counting the "China Beach" finale) and it makes me a wreck every single episode...if it comes back YOU HAVE TO WATCH IT!!! "Surface" didn't grab me at first, but much like a lite version of "LOST," I got suckered into it's alien invasion premise...and somehow, the only episode I missed all season was the last one!!! Arggghhh! "Invasion" is one of those shows that I don't know where the heck it's going, but I'm along for the ride! Similar in tone to "Surface," this underwater alien show has taken a totally different route along the lines of world domination by aliens, not mutants created by man. (ala "Surface")

Great shows, one and all...watch them if you get a chance. Sometime soon, I'm going to do my top ten of all time!!! Be There!!!

Dave

This is a test

This is a test of the davecoxtalksalot system. Should this have been an actual generic rambling, you would have been otherwise notified...

I hope you find that this blog is better than the last... stick with me kids, it's going to be fun!

Dave