Just ask Dave

Lately it seems I've been inundated with letters asking for advice on life, health and matters of the heart. The following are just a few of the thousands of cries for help that I've received.


Dear Dave,

What time of day should I water my lawn?

Lisa R. Des Moines, Iowa

Thanks for writing, Lisa. I always find it best to water my lawn at dusk, that way it has a chance to soak in overnight, and causes less damage to your lawn, due to the heat of the sun.


Dear David,

My Dad won't let me listen to whatever kind of music I want to. Not only that, but he won't let me watch "R" rated movies! What do you think of that?

Dustin C. Independence, Missouri

Uh, Dustin, can we discuss that later?

Dear Dave,

My husband says he'd like to spice up our marriage by playing with toys...are there any you would suggest?

Sarah P. Omaha, Nebraska

That's a tricky question, Sarah...but I'd have to say an etch-a-sketch might be fun, or maybe silly putty...but not a slinky, never a slinky!

Dear Dave,

What kind of tree would you like to be?


Anonymous New York, NY

Barbara Walters, is that you? (oh, and to answer your question... a Douglas Fir)

Dear David,

What is the fastest land animal?

Teddy K. Washington, D.C.

Good Question, Ted... The Cheetah is the fastest land animal.

Dear David,

If you could have dinner with 6 people from any time in history, who would it be?

Keith T. Topeka, KS.

Wow, great Question! I'd have to say Jesus, of course, followed by Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Stewart and Abraham Lincoln. Then I'd want Ben Franklin and Martin Luther King to be there too. I have a million questions for all of them!

What books would you rate as your favorites?

Anonymous bookstore clerk, Independence, Mo

Thanks for asking, Anonymous... 1. The Bible 2. A Prayer for Owen Meany 3. Shoeless Joe 4. The Catcher in the Rye 5. Purpose Driven Life

Hey Dave,

Boxers or Briefs?

Hillary C. New York

Actually, Hillary...I prefer thong underwear.

Dear Dave,

I have two coins that equal 30 cents, and one of them isn't a quarter... what coins do I have?

Zach B. Hollywood, CA

Wait, I know this one...it was on the Mensa test, wasn't it?


Well, kids...that's it for this week.... I'll try to run some more questions soon!

Have a great fourth of July!

David