Something old, Something new

2009 turned out to be a lazy year for me...blog-wise, that is. Oh, sure...I still wrote a lot...but the time I spent writing was on facebook, and not on blogger.  Bad me, bad me. As someone who loves to write (who lives to write), it is certainly a good thing that I don't write to live or I'd be in mas trouble.

As I look back at 2009 I think "Whew! I made it!" Not that it was a horrible year, but it definitely had it's moments. There are some things that happened in 2009 that I hope NEVER to have happen again. As I close out this year, I can say that the past few months have been an improvement (with the exception of the death of our beloved dog, Luke) over what came earlier in the year.

The highlights of this year included:

My 20th Wedding Anniversary with Sherry and our trip to Springfield, with stops along the way. We spent several days in Strafford and got to visit with some old friends we hadn't seen in ages, as well as visiting spots we hadn't seen in years. The boys had fun playing on my elementary school playground and we really enjoyed the Precious Moments Chapel and Museum and George Washington Carver's Museum too. It was nice.

The Weather was amazing this year! Spring lasted most of the summer and this is the first year I ever remember where we had green grass the entire year and I ended up mowing until November.

Luke's last day with us sounds like it would be a sad one, and it was one of the saddest days of my life, however... For mid-November, we had more of the amazing Spring-like weather with temps in the mid-seventies. It was a beautiful day and we had a nice road trip with Luke and Socks. The ending was sad, but I hope my last day is as beautiful as Luke's was.

This fall we took another trip to Springfield to say "SEE YA" to Sherry's Cousin, Tim, who went to fight the war in Afghanistan. It was a bittersweet time, but was nice to reconnect with some of Sherry's family that we don't see often enough. It also gave us a chance to renew our hope and faith in our fighting forces and give well wishes to a soldier that we actually know. WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU, TIM,  COME HOME SOON!

Dustin's grades improved in school and his talent as a musician continued to grow. I'm also proud of Dustin's computer skills. He's VERY bright with computer related topics and is turning into a decent writer and photographer... I'd like to say that the writing and photography part are hereditary. Dustin is a funny kid with a good sense of humor and his Dad's great looking, curly hair. (I hope he holds onto it longer than I did!)

Jared's skills as an athlete continue to amaze me. There are a lot of good athletes on both sides of mine and Sherry's families, and although neither Sherry or I are great athletes, we seem to have carried the gene. Jared pitched a near no-hitter, (He gave up no hits at all in the innings he pitched but the pitcher who relieved him in the last inning gave up three runs), became a good little Catcher, and was great at laying down bunts for his team, THE BULLS. He also had a very solid run in basketball last season and so far this season, THE TIMBERWOLVES are undefeated! Jared is a straight-A student at school and although he's ornery...he's not all that bad...

Sherry continues to grow more beautiful with each year that I spend with her. She's smart, funny and talented...as well as being very tolerant of me and all of my silliness. I thank God every day for the gift that she is to me.

Kevin...
With the loss of Luke we felt an enormous hole in our lives and in our hearts. Socks felt it as well and began to show some pretty serious signs of depression. So for Christmas this year, we adopted a lovable yellow lab named "Kevin," who has been a fun, amazing addition to our family.

Socks...
The best dog anyone could ask for. Huggable, lovable, loyal and sweet...she took Luke's death pretty hard, but took in Kevin with open paws. After only two weeks together they seem like they've been together forever. She plays Mom to him and isn't afraid to warn him if he gets too goofy, but will also join in on the fun if she's in the mood to play with him in the snow. I wouldn't take a million dollars for Socks...she's priceless.

I won't even go into the bad parts of this past year. It was the usual stuff... car troubles, finances, teenage angst and growing pains. Health issues, parental worries and worries about our parents too as they grow older...All in all, it could have been worse.

And me... I hope to lose some weight and write more. Those are pretty easy goals... I think I can do it.
2009 was the usual mix of "The Best of times and worst of times."
When I wake up tomorrow it will be 2010 and I'll get to start all over again!

Happy New Year to all of you and may God bless you in the New Year!

David

Needful Things

There are few things in life that we need...
Food
Water
Clothing
Shelter
A solid relationship with God
Family
Friends
A good dog...
(not necessarily in that order)

     I'm probably forgetting something, but recently my Wife, Sherry and I had the discussion about "Needing" another dog. If you've followed my blog or if you know me, you've read or heard about my dog, Luke who was one of the best dogs I've ever had the privilege of sharing this planet with.
     When Luke was first diagnosed with Cancer nearly three years ago, the Vet said that we "needed" to get another dog. His thinking was that it would help Luke deal with his cancer, and it would help our boys deal with the loss once Luke's time came.
     As it turns out, he could not have been more correct. After we found out about Luke's illness, my friend, Jennifer, approached me one day and said that her good friend was having to part with her two dogs due to the dissolution of her marriage. Jennifer then sent me an e-mail from her friend asking if anyone would be interested in taking either her golden retriever, or her lab-shepherd mix, because she could no longer care for them.
     I was intrigued by the retriever, but in the picture that was included with the email, my eyes immediately were drawn to the black and tan, German Shepherd looking dog. She was a beauty! I forwarded the email to my Wife and we discussed it at home with the boys. They saw the picture and were both interested in the retriever.
     I called Jennifer's friend, and she said that she already had someone that wanted the retriever, but if we wanted to come look at "Socks" we could. We all agreed that we'd go meet with Socks the next day. I was skeptical of the German Shepherd part of the mix, because I knew that their breed can sometimes be aggressive, however, I secretly hoped that the Lab part of her would be the dominant part of her personality.
     Our Sons, Dustin and Jared were eager to meet Socks and so I instructed them on how to behave. Especially in Jared's case. Jared loves dogs and is known to throw his arms around them and hug them right to the ground. So I warned him specifically to just stand there with his hand out and let Socks come to him. I told Sherry that how the dog reacted to Jared would be the determining factor as to whether we'd take her home or not.
     We walked into the house and there she was. Shiny black coat and sparkling eyes. She immediately ran to Jared, and because he's short, she was able to slather his face with kisses. Within moments he was on the floor and they were playing together.
     We told the lady that we would call her the next day to let her know our decision, but that we thought we were interested. As I got into the van I asked the boys what they thought. They both agreed that they liked Socks a lot... I turned to Sherry and said "We're stupid if we don't take this dog!"
     Later that afternoon, we called Sock's owner and told them we'd like to have her. She asked if it was okay if she drove her to our house so that she could meet Luke and see what Sock's new living arrangements would be. I readily agreed and thought that it would be good for Luke to meet Socks and her family too.
     Luke could be a handful, but he was the most affable dog ever, never meeting a dog he didn't like. When Socks arrived it was like "Old Home Week." With both dogs licking, sniffing and chasing each other around. (Well, as much as Luke could chase in his condition.) Sock's owner was sad to say goodbye, but happy that Socks would have a good family and a good playmate in Luke.
     Truth be told, Luke "needed" Socks. Socks turned out to be a lifesaver for Luke and I honestly believe that she is what kept him alive nearly two years past his expected "Expiration date" that the Doctors had given him.
     Socks is, according to my Father-in-Law, the most peaceful dog he's ever seen. He's right too...although she looks imposing through the front window of our home as she barks at passers-by, she'd be more likely to lick them to death than to hurt them. This isn't to say she's not protective, but she's a big baby in most cases.
     Socks cannot survive without a human's touch. She can't just be near you...she has to be touched. She'll lick you, nudge you, flop into your lap...you name it.  I've often awakened from naps to find her head on Sherry's pillow, and her nose pressed against my nose. You can look into her eyes and see the love that she feels for you.
     As much as Luke needed her, she needed him as well. When he died last month, she went into a deep depression. She still perked up when we played with her and still wanted to be near to us, but even more so than in the past. She took to staying by herself more and more and seemed restless and tired. You could tell she missed Luke. She even adopted some strange behaviors that she'd never had before that caused us to worry about her some.
     Then the boys, who I knew were sad about losing Luke, started mentioning that they wanted another dog. I, of course, said "No" rather emphatically. Sherry said no too. It was too soon....we didn't want to replace Luke. Jared even put at the top of his Christmas list that he wanted a new puppy...not for him, but for Socks. I asked him why and he said "She's just so sad."  I could see that too, but never thought that a dog, could "need" another dog...even though I'd seen it myself when Luke was sick and he "needed" Socks.
     A few weeks after Luke died, I started looking at dog ads. I don't know why, really. I never had the intention of getting another dog. One day I spotted a few ads for free dogs...some of them were even yellow labs. One dog, specifically, looked just like Luke. I showed Sherry the ad...it kind of bothered her to think of getting a dog that looked so much like Luke...but I was interested, so I called the dog's owner.
     After several days and a couple of left messages, the man called me back. The dog had been given away.
"Sigh."   I looked at a few other ads...Sherry was interested in a full-blooded, full-grown collie...but it too, was taken. We found some black lab puppies listed and called on them, as well as an ad for a two year old yellow lab who didn't really look that much like Luke at all.
     We made appointments to see them both on Sherry's birthday and then  concocted a story to fool the boys into thinking we were going to see some old college friends of mine. "Do they have kids?" Jared asked.
"Three," I answered, not bothering to tell him that they had three Labrador Retrievers.
     When we reached the home of my "College" friends, they led us through the house and told us that their "Kids" were out in the yard. When they opened the door, in poured three, full-sized Labs...two chocolate ones and one yellow (almost white) Lab.
     Dustin smiled at me as if to ask "What's going on here?"
     "Guys," I said to the boys, "Your Mom and I were thinking that you might want to meet this yellow guy...cause he needs a new home.
     "For real?" Jared asked.  I laughed and told them that we'd made an appointment for that afternoon to go see some little six-week old, black labs, so that they had some serious choices to make. I told them while the puppies might be cuter, that the older yellow lab, would be more practical.
     We visited and played for a bit and told the owners that we'd call them back and let them know. They were a nice, elderly couple who Dustin had trouble believing that I'd gone to college with...(Ha!)  That afternoon we saw the black lab pups, who were cute, cuddly little butterballs, but didn't seem to hold as much interest for the boys.
     To the boys credit, they chose the older, yellow lab...who had his shots and had been neutered, which financially was a big selling point for me.
     One week later, we went to pick up "Kevin" (as the boys named him...causing much laughter). Socks greeted him enthusiastically and now, one week after he arrived at our home, they've become best buddies...racing through the snow together, playing with each other's toys and even sharing the same waterbowl.
     It quickly became apparent that Socks had needed something...and that something was Kevin. We too, had a hole in our lives since Luke had passed, and although it had only been a month, it was hurting us all to have him gone.
     Although Kevin isn't a replacement for Luke, he's a new Friend that we've taken in. Kevin has quickly won us over with his youthful playfulness and his calm demeanor. He's a great companion for Socks and follows each of us around from room to room, just wanting to be near. I think he needed us too.

     I know sometimes things come along and you have to ask yourself "Do I really need that?"  In Kevin's case and in Sock's case too, I'd have to say "Yes.."
     

How I was almost seduced into buying a ragweed filled heating pad

Don't go shopping this Christmas. It isn't safe...
I always thought Christmas shopping was harmless, miserable and time-consuming until yesterday, when I was nearly molested by a saleswoman at a kiosk in the Mall.

The day started out simply enough. I would work until 12:30 and then take off to do some Christmas shopping. Dustin was home and decided he would go too, which of course totally eliminated me from picking up anything for him during my excursion. We arrived at the mall and circled the lot for about half a day, looking for a parking space that would seemingly never appear.
(This is the equivalent of a child waiting for Christmas...."Is it here yet? Is it here yet?")

Our main goal for this journey was to find several bottles of body lotion that Sherry likes that are sold exclusively at a garish, black and pink, boudoir themed store that we'll call (for legal reasons)
"Vicky's undisclosed information."

What seemed like a perfectly easy task, quickly turned into a nightmare of unwanted advances and unbridled embarrassment. How could I have known that lurking beneath the garish glow of the neon lighted mallway was a Pakistani Princess/slash/sex-pot saleswoman with wares to peddle to unsuspecting men.

"Hey," a sultry accented voice called out to me. "I vant to show yous someting." The voice said. Suddenly, a woman clad in cleavage-baring black stepped in front of me. "You buy dis from me, yez?" She asked.

"What...." I began.
She suddenly whipped out a floral printed microwavable heating pad and slung it around my neck.
"Oooof!" I said.
"Vat do yous smell?" The saleslady asked as she batted her long lashes at me from beneath her curly mop of hair, all the while pushing her comely endowments into my chest. I fought to keep eye contact and made an effort to look anywhere but down.
"I don't know..." I started, "It smells like herbs or something."

"Yous like dis smell?" She asked.
"Uh, it's okay, I guess" I said.
She pulled out a list of ingredients that were contained in this tea-smelling concoction and rattled them off in her husky, ethnic tones.
"Yous like dis smell?" She said, shoving a small bean bag shaped heating pad into my nose.
"It smells like grass." I said

"Yez, it's errrbs and spizes" She said and then added "Yous have luwer bag pain?"
"Lower BACK pain?" I asked.
"This being what I have said" She said.
She reached over to a shelf in her kiosk and then flung her arms around me pulling me close.
I looked at Dustin who wore a mix of embarrassed amusement on his face.
She finished fastening a heating pad around me and I soon began to sweat from the heating pad combo I was wearing on back and neck.
"Wow, I'm hot" I said. She smiled and batted her eyelashes.

"Yous buy dis now?" She asked.
"I don't think so" I said.
"Try dis" she said and motioned for me to take off my glasses.
She then rubbed an ice version of the pad on my closed eyes, and I must admit that I did find it soothing. Plus, it didn't smell like a barn loft full of hay.
Dustin looked like he wanted to laugh.
"Here, Dustin, You try it" I said, motioning to Dustin. She rubbed the pads on his eyes too, although he seemed unimpressed at the ice pads.

I moved to unfasten the heating pads strapped to me and the Pakistani Princess moved as if to impale me with her chest once again. I took a quick step back and removed the heating pads.
"You buy dis for yer Vife?" She asked.
"I'd have to ask her." I answered.
"You zurprize her and buy now." She said, almost demanding my cooperation.
"No, I don't think so" I said, sounding tougher than I meant to, but really wanting to get far away from her.

"Okay" she said. "Have good day." She took the pads from my hands and turned away quickly.
"Huh..." I said to no one in particular. Dustin and I quickly stepped in to our destination store and began to look for lotions.
"She was totally flirting with you, Dad" Dustin said.
"She was just trying too hard to make a sale."
"Were you embarrassed?" He asked.
"Well, I've never wanted to be so far away from breasts in my life!" I answered.
"Dad!" Dustin exclaimed.

I told Sherry about it when we got home and we both had a good laugh about it. Later that evening, while Sherry and I were shopping we saw the woman again. She was in the middle of grabbing a man by the sleeve as we passed her little stand.
"Hey!" She said to the man, "I vant to show yous someting." As I looked his way I could see the fear in his eyes.

So this is how it ends, my Friend....

So this is how it ends,
My Friend...
Days filled with guilt
Wrenching Sobs
Stinging Eyes...



This isn't what I expected
on that day almost
Twelve years ago

You were the wild one
The yapping one
The ornery one
So of course
My little boy
Anxious for a puppy
Chose you

You made him cry
on the way
home that day.
Trying to escape the confines
of your cardboard box
You clawed
You scratched
You howled
You made your presence known

You fell asleep in my lap
in the recliner
And I soon followed
you into dreams.
I awoke to find you on my chest
Asleep and snoring away.
Your little head tucked in
against my neck.

You barked and pulled at
my pant legs.
Every time I got on the
computer to write.
I wrote a lot in those days.
I'd say to you
"NO LUKE NO"
And that became one of your many
many nicknames.

Luke
Lucas
Luker
Lukie-Boy
Big Guy
Big Boy
Big Hairy Boy
The Fur Covered Freight train...(SIMILE!)
But you were always my boy
No matter what I called you

We played ball in the backyard
You and me
You and Dustin
And later,
You and Jared
We were friends,
We were Family
You were my fur-covered Son.

You ate everything.
The Trash.
The Lattice on the Deck.
You even ate all the outdoor lighting
For Pete's Sake!
Bulbs, Wires and All.
I called the Vet.
He said to watch your poop.
Oh, that was fun!
Two days later whole light bulbs appeared.
Ta-da! We said. Luke The Magnificent!
(Thank goodness that nickname never took off!)

It was joy and happiness
for many years with you
Till the sickness hit
And old age set in
You still looked and acted like a pup
sometimes.
But the white hairs began to appear
around your eyes.
It took longer for you to stand and to sit.
You became scared of storms and
sometimes even the dark.

You clawed
You scratched
You barked
You made your pain and suffering known

Tonight you're laying down behind my chair.
I'm on the computer.
I'm writing again.
I think of you dying tomorrow,
and I say to you "NO LUKE NO."

Insanities of Life

So many things don't make sense to me...
I've been praying a lot lately.
Some of the silliness out there makes me sad.
Some of it makes me roll my eyes and shake my head.
Some of it even makes me laugh.

Obstacles placed in my way frustrate me.
After I knock them down or find a way around
I just find another one.
Yesterday I dealt with a ton of them and got through
them just fine.
Today I awake to find another one bigger than all the
ones before.

Laughter is the best medicine.
When you think you can't take anymore of the insanities
You meet someone crazier than you feel.
Like the lady last night at B&N who said she couldn't look
at cat books because she's allergic to them.
She then sat down next to a Honduran couple and asked
"Are you from Mexico?" Unbelievable!
I shook my head, rolled my eyes and laughed.

Later one of my co-workers showed me a book
that offered a review that said the book was filled
with Cowboy on Cowgirl action, and Cowboy on Cowboy
action while maintaining a true sense of the old west.
Um, excuse me? Am I missing something here?
What the heck are they talking about?
I had to laugh and once again, shake my head.

What is the world coming to?
I wondered that all last night.
I prayed. I prayed. I prayed some more.
Today I have a better attitude, but no answers yet.
I have a gut feeling of what I need to do
but my gut is also telling me that I've worried too much
and an ulcer is inevitable.

I've reached out to friends for help and advice.
I know they'll come through and I pray for a quick response.
My best friend is dying. Luke is his name. He's been a loyal friend
for many years. Luke is my dog and I'll cry when he's gone.
Life is easy. Life is hard. Such are the Insanities of Life.

Avoiding Road Rage on the Highway of Life

Hello Peoples...

Again I must apologize for my tardiness in writing... Baseball season is perhaps the worst time in the world for me to try to blog...I don't know how sports writers do it... I suppose if I had a laptop I could schlep it out to the ball field and type between innings and games, but at the moment I'm trapped in PC world and chained to a desk.

Since the invent of FACEBOOK, I've also become quite the FB addict, spending WAY too much time chatting with friends, playing Scramble and at the moment, laughing at my elderly sick dog, who has his head stuck in the trashcan...but I digress...

So, how was your summer? Ours was short...Busy...cool....and short. We watched Jared play baseball during the summer and now through the fall leagues. In fact, I'd still be at one of his games right now if it hadn't gotten rained out this evening.

We went to 8 or 9 Royals games this summer, including the home opener and the final game. (First time we've made it to both!) In fact, we made it to the final two home games. The Royals had an up-and-down season, to put it simply. Great April, pretty good May, so-so June, July and August and then a terrific September, featuring an amazing hitting streak for Billy Butler, numerous saves for Joakim Soria and the conclusion of a miraculous season for Pitcher, Zack Greinke.

On the home front, school started out good this year. Both boys are making good grades, things are going well for everyone for the most part, even Luke, our elderly, sick, trashcan-headed dog, who continues to fight on against a cancer that threatened to wipe him out more than two years ago. Dustin is still with his girlfriend of 7 months, Hannah. Jared has two twin neighbor girls who are infatuated with him and they both spend an awful lot of time on the computer and the phone.

Dustin excels at Orchestra and Jared is the athlete. Dustin's Orchestra concert was last week and they sounded as good as any symphony I've ever heard. Jared's baseball team is finally on a bit of a winning streak and Jared has made some nice contributions along the way. In their game last weekend, Jared pitched three scoreless innings, throwing 38 pitches and striking out 8 batters. On the 9Th batter he caught the ball and threw the runner out at first!

Sherry and I keep working and in spite of keeping too busy and neighbor kids who throw baseballs threw our windows, we're doing pretty well. In my spare time (HA!) I've been taking a lot of pictures rather than writing, and while I miss writing, I LOVE taking pictures. (Heck, I may even throw a few in here before I'm done!)

Life goes on...I keep getting older and trying to stay young-at-heart. I think I still have most of my youthful enthusiasm, but I do find that I get grumpy a lot easier than I used to. I still love my fellow man, but sometimes feel that I love them in a "tough-love" sort of way.

The weather this summer was much cooler than normal, and so far, fall has proven to be a very chilly one. I'm guessing we'll have snow by Thanksgiving this year with the way things are going. And politics aside, I've noticed that Al Gore has kept a low profile during this summer of record breaking low temperatures. In other words, it was not a "Long Hot Summer!"

So we'll see what fall brings other than the end of another year. 2009 has sped by as the years seem to do, although as I get older I think they keep raising the speed limit!

Take care and I promise I'll write sooner!

Dave

Surviving in a bad economy...The Bald Guy Way

How many times have you said "No, I'm sorry, I can't afford it!"
Well, my friends, apologize no more!
I'm here to tell you how you can save money and time, THE BALD GUY WAY!

Don't you hate it when you're brushing or combing your hair and "SNAP" that flimsy old brush or comb just breaks right in two? Well, with the BALD GUY WAY, your days of brushing and combing are a thing of the past!

Shampoo? Mousse? Cream Rinse? Conditioner? De-tangler? I could go on and on...but guess what? I don't have to, because with the BALD GUY WAY you'll never have to use those wasteful products ever again!

How do I know so much about the BALD GUY WAY? Well, not only am I the BALD GUY WAY Spokesman, but I'm the BALD GUY who invented the BALD GUY WAY!

Think of all that dirty hair....YUCK! You try scrubbing it out and soaking it out and still it can be sticky, stinky and hard-to-manage. With the BALD GUY WAY'S patented BALD method, you'll barely ever have to get your head wet ever again!

Say goodbye to that old cluttered comb and brush drawer! Think of the space you'll save without having to clutter up your bathroom cabinets with all those curling irons and blow dryers and other useless gadgets. You'll save so much space that maybe now Dad can build that workshop he's always dreamed of!

Here are some of the savings you could see in just your first year as "A BALD GUY":

Shampoo retails at an average price of $3.50 a bottle. If you were to use one bottle a month, that's $42.00 a year! HOLY COW!
Conditioner retails at an average price of $3.00 a bottle. If you were to use one bottle a month that's $36.00 a year! MAN OH MAN! THAT'S HIGHWAY ROBBERY!
Add to that, the cost of some fancy-shmancy blow dryer for $25.00 and a curling iron for $19.99 plus a set of hot rollers for $39.99...That's another $84.98! EIGHTY-FOUR NINETY-EIGHT!
Can you believe it?
And brushes, combs, hair clips, Don't get me started! You've already wasted $162.98 on gadgets and cleaning supplies just for your hair!

Oh, and don't forget hair cuts and stylists too! The average haircut in the United States is $15.00 which makes a total of ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY DOLLARS A YEAR!!! IN-CRED-A-BULL!

Congratulations BUCK-O, you just blew $342.98 on your silly freakin' hair!!! Wonder if Obama has a stimulus package for you? Where did all that money go? Ask your stylist cause they swept up a big-old-part of it, right off of their floor. And you Paid them For It!!! And the rest of it? Where did it go? Right down the drain with the water that you pay to use!!!

So, you can see, that the BALD GUY method is an effective tool for saving time as well as money.
What are you waiting for? Get off that couch and try the BALD GUY WAY.....TODAY!


*the bald guy way is a patented method of baldness and may not be be for everyone. the bald guy way is not available in Colorado, Alaska or Puerto Rico.

Pumpkin Butt

From time to time I'll use this blog to comment on various forms of media and entertainment, and those of you who read what I write can vouch for the fact that some of my favorite sources of commentary are books.

It was about a year ago that I was taken to task by the author of that classic work of fiction "Thong on Fire" for judging his book by it's cover. Well, DUH! With a title like "Thong on Fire," it's an open invitation to critique the book even without delving into the pulpy pages within. To be fair, after reading bits and pieces of the book (at the author's insistence), I found it to be amazingly well-written, albeit crap...but well-written crap.

Which brings us to today's near-brilliant tome, "Enchanted Again" by Nancy Madore. The following is the product description from Amazon.com:

Product Description
Following the overwhelming success of Enchanted, author Nancy Madore has responded to her fans' pleas for a follow-up with a brilliant second collection—this time comprised of superbly sensual, delightfully debauched and decidedly darker modern-day interpretations of classic nursery rhymes.

Meet Dan, the handyman whose toolbox is full of surprises…Georgie Porgie, no longer the boy who's content with only kissing girls…Jessica, who, torn between two men, may be lured into the wrong web…Peter, whose wife's wandering eye arouses his libido… As well as an interesting assortment of characters who will entertain and arouse the adult in you…

Okay then....whew.... makes me want to do nothing more than NOT READ THIS BOOK! In fact, I can think of nothing more I'd like to do than NOT READ THIS BOOK! If you read the customer reviews on Amazon, they all seem to really, really like this book, and to those people I offer this advice... GET A LIFE!

The one thing I can recommend about this book is the wonderful cover art which features a picture of a woman with a pumpkin growing out of her butt. Hence, the nickname "Pumpkin Butt." Since I first spotted this book on the shelves at Barnes and Noble, I've grown to love accidentally finding this title around the store and then commenting on "Pumpkin Butt" and making catchy tag-lines for it like "You'd be out of your gourd to not love Pumpkin Butt," or "Her Husband was a vegetable and she was Pumpkin Butt." You know, silly, stupid stuff...

Needless to say, I will most assuredly never read "Enchanted Again" by Nancy Madore...even if she writes to me to say that I should. I do have one question for her though.... "Why's that lady got a punkin' growin' outta her butt?"

-David

And so one day, three months later...he resumed his blog

Sorry for the Summer break. I did not intend to be away so long. I could use the excuse that it was a busy summer or a short summer or that the alien invasion kept me away from my computer, but we all know that those would just be lame excuses for me not taking the time to write.

So in closing I'd like to say....

Just kidding...


"What I did over Summer Vacation" by David Cox

Helped kids with turtle
Planted tomatoes and peppers
Went to Springfield for 20th Wedding Anniversary
Celebrated 20th Wedding Anniversary
Saw old friends we hadn't seen in ages...Mark, Marty, Dave, Debbie, Joan, Valerie, Walter and others.
Went to Royals games (5 so far)
Went to a Springfield Cardinals game (1 ever)
Ate Cashewed Chicken at Shanghai Inn (2 times this Summer)
Visited with family
Took pictures of Strafford, MO to post on my Strafford Facebook page
Got more addicted to Facebook
Got Sherry addicted to Facebook
Watched Jared play baseball
Hung out with Dustin and Hannah
Worked at the Library
Worked at the bookstore
Started my book "Lacey Donnelly Knows a Thing or Two"
Watched the first seven seasons of the TV series "WINGS" and had forgotten how funny it is!!!
Read books
Took Pictures
Went to Church
Gained weight (THANK YOU Dr. PEPPER!)
Mowed my Lawn
Tried to keep Luke alive and then when he did revive, tried to keep him out of my tomatoes
Played and snuggled with Socks, the snuggliest dog alive
Played and snuggled with Sherry, the snuggliest Sherry alive
Typed
Ate
Drank (pop)
and was Merry
Cooked
Cooked out
Ate out
Slept
Planted plants
Painted part of the shed (ongoing project)
Painted part of the living room (Sherry's project, so she did most of it)
Went to Sherry's Cousin Tim's party in Springfield
Hurt my back the night before going to Springfield and spent the weekend there in bed except for the party part.....
Emailed
Mailed
Blackmailed


I think that's about it...here are some pictures too...

David

Diverse City

Yesterday we went to the graduation ceremonies for Blue Springs High School at the Municipal Auditorium in downtown Kansas City, Missouri. The first thing that I noticed as we approached the auditorium was the diversity of the crowd. There were young people, old people, Black people and White people. There were Samoans, Hispanics and American Indians too. A lot of people wore the school's color, purple, while others wore dress clothes or even casual wear.

We hurried to our seats in the crowded hall, trying to make our way to where our friends, the Cameron's, were seated, eagerly awaiting their son, Jack's name to be announced. I was proud to be a part of such a wonderful day and such a diverse crowd.

And then it happened...

It seemed harmless at first, but I soon realized that a sinister plot had been put into play. One after one, the names of the students were read... One after one, the name Nicole kept cropping up. Out of 492 Students in the 2009 Graduating Class of Blue Springs High School in Blue Springs, Missouri... approximately 400 of them were named "Nicole!" And out of those 400, 67 of the Nicole's were male!

How is this possible? You ask? Is it possible that in 1991 the most popular girl's name was Nicole? Sure, I suppose that might be possible...but even at that rate only 58.5% would be named "Nicole." Yes, amongst the Nicole's and the one Jack that we knew, there were about 22 "Tara's" and a few "Brittany's," but the amount of Nicole's was disproportionately high.

So, who is behind this nefarious plot?
The Commies?
The Hippies?
The Pinko's?
The Libs?
George W. Bush?
Aliens from another world?

How the Heck should I know? All I know is that at this rate, in approximately 17 years, every new baby that is born on this planet will be named Nicole! Am I alarmed? You Bet! Now I know that you and I both know some very nice Nicole's, Nicolette's and Nikki's, but still, doesn't this event seem a bit too well organized? I guess that leaves our Government off the list of likely suspects, but it still does not answer the bigger question....what exactly is the point I'm trying to make?

I DON'T KNOW!!!

Just take some time and think this out...if you have any theories, please contact me in my underground bunker.

-David

Why can't we be friends?

Recently on facebook, I've noticed a strange phenomenon... People who I was acquainted with want to be my friends. That's cool...I have no problem because sometimes these people have stories to tell about people and teachers we knew that I've never heard before, and in doing this, I'm becoming friends with them.

To be honest, there are a couple of people on facebook that I never thought I'd talk to again. Not that I didn't want to, just that I never figured that our paths would ever cross again. Now that they have, I'm happy with the results and have really enjoyed visiting with these people.

This brings me to my second point. There are a couple of people who were friends of mine in High School that I have fond memories of and actually considered friends who still have not befriended me on facebook. This wouldn't bother me so much except for the fact that they've befriended people on facebook who asked them to be friends after I did.

I'm not sure why that is? Some old grudge perhaps? Maybe they didn't like me in school and I only thought they did? One of them in particular really bothers me because we used to talk a lot in school and I always thought she was sweet and pretty and funny...in fact, we even went out once. I would think that if anything, our one date might have been the deal killer, but we actually stayed friends for awhile after I graduated high school and went on to college.

So what's the deal with that? I thought the idea to facebook was not only to reconnect with old friends, but to make new ones as well. I'm even chatting and sending notes to my Sister's friends on facebook when I know they never thought of me as a "FRIEND" in high school. There are people that I was casual friends with in school that I've become pretty tight with on facebook because now that we're adults, we actually have things in common...like kids, or jobs or "GASP!" Political beliefs!

So, to those of you who haven't answered yet to my friend request "LIGHTEN UP!" To quote my old friend, Mark Shoemaker, who once asked a girl to dance at a nightclub only to be turned down, "I DIDN'T ASK YOU TO BEAR MY CHILDREN, I ONLY ASKED YOU TO DANCE!!!"

C'mon.... Dance with me, will ya?

Take care,

Dave

As he slowly fades to gray

The day slowly begins
Another week just ends
Wonder how the time slips away
As he slowly fades to gray

You beg for him to stay
but it won't turn out that way
Because it isn't up to you
There isn't anything that you can do
And he slowly fades to gray

Wish everything would stay the same
You've hidden from the storms that never came
Vibrant colors wash in the light of day
As he slowly fades to gray

-David Cox

Do Liberals wear sensible shoes?

Today I watched as hundreds of people protested our current tax system. To call our tax system "current" is a joke of mammoth proportions. Sensible people will tell you that our tax system is as antiquated as a Model T Ford due to the myriad loopholes and seemingly endless amount of paperwork involved.

Several years ago, wannabe Presidential Candidate, Steve Forbes (He of great ideas and ZERO personality) proposed a flat tax. Forbes opined that a flat tax of 15% would be fair across the board and that for people below a certain income, there would be no tax at all.
Liberals hated this idea...they thought it would deprive the government of much needed funds. (This in the era of $500 dollar toilet seats and Pentagon Screwdrivers that were purchased at $800 dollars and up)

Other candidates since have proposed national sales taxes or variations on a flat or "Fair Tax" That make perfect sense....even to non-mathematical geniuses like me. Many have theories as to why our current (and by that, I mean antiquated) leaders opposes a new tax system, and I can find about ten or fifteen of them that I could by into on some level. However, none of them really make sense in the long run. I may be wrong, but I believe it was Ronald Reagan who said that no country has ever taxed it's way to prosperity...and no matter who said it...I believe they were right.

David

Life's fleeting moments

Yesterday as I sat in the waiting area of the local health clinic, waiting to be diagnosed with an ear infection, I struck up a conversation with an attractive young lady named Emma. All smiles and blond curls, Emma told me of her love of Ethan; her classmate at preschool. She went on to explain that she would someday marry Ethan, and they would be in love like Ariel and Prince Eric in the "Little Mermaid."

Emma told me that she wanted a dog, but for now she'd be happy with her Guinea pig, even though her other guinea pig, Pokey had died recently. Emma, with her heart-breaking beauty and her childlike innocence, touched something in me...a longing for that sense of wonder that children have and seek to discard so quickly. Someday Emma may marry Ethan and have a dog, but I'm afraid that someday will arrive oh so fast. Such are life's fleeting moments.

Today Luke, our eleven-year-old Yellow Lab, missed a step as he was climbing them. Since he's old, I'm always right by his side on the stairs. I held him as he trembled and whimpered and remembered him being scared one other time when he was a puppy and he didn't want to sleep in his kennel all alone. I held him then, while he whimpered and trembled and he fell asleep in my arms as I sat in a recliner in the living room.

I fell asleep with him like that and when I awoke, was startled to find that he had vanished from my lap. A frantic search for him around the house yielded nothing, much less a tubby little yellow lab puppy. And then I spied him...asleep in a pile of freshly washed sheets in a laundry basket near the stairs. The same stairs I had to help him up today.

This morning in church as we stood singing songs of praise, I put my arm around my oldest son, Dustin as we sang together. Dustin, who is as now as tall as me, will always be my little boy. This boy with whom I dislocated my shoulder while swinging him around in the yard; this boy, who played for hours with his dozens of STAR WARS action figures. This boy, who argued with his preschool teachers about the correct pronunciation of Parasaurolophus and other favorite dinosaurs, drove home from the gas station today and needed little advice from his Father on how to do so correctly.

During our Easter dinner today, my nine-year-old son, Jared asked if he could propose a toast. Jared, who is all fidgety noisiness on most occasions, then gave a heartfelt thanks to his family, who he said he loved very much, and proceeded to get choked up while declaring his feelings.
Somewhere within that child, is a soft heart and a sensitive soul.

Later, as we watched "Marley and Me" for a second time this week, he broke down and sobbed as he hugged his dog, Socks. "Why does time have to go so fast?" He cried. These are life's fleeting moments. In what will seem like only minutes, the years will pass, and I'll look back on this weekend and wonder where the time went.

I hope that Emma and Ethan do become a Prince and a Princess and share an undying love, I do wish that Luke could be that puppy again and that I could hold onto him forever. I do pray that Dustin will always sing God's praises and will continue to drive safely (and slowly) for many, many years. I continue to pray that Jared will always be as caring and loving as he is right now, even if it's hard to see through the frantic persona that he often projects.

As I hugged my Wife, Sherry today and professed my love for her, I could see us together in the future, celebrating another Happy Easter Sunday. We should always hold onto each other and to all of life's fleeting moments.


David

Of Mothers and Sons

This week has been a rough one... If you've been on Facebook, you've no doubt seen me posting status updates on my Mom's health... If not, here's the skinny... On Thursday, April 2nd, my Mom was admitted to St. John's Hospital in Springfield in full Respiratory failure. She was cold and turning blue by the time they got her to ICU.

That morning started off like any other day, except that it was my birthday and I had scheduled some off time from work (or "ME TIME" as it were). I slept in a bit that morning, did some facebooking and then went to pick up lunch for Sherry, Jared and myself so that I could take it up to the school and surprise them with takeout food.

Jared, the non-eater of the bunch, was actually easier to buy for this day. I went straight for Burger King and got the 4 piece chicken kids meal and the chocolate milk. Sherry and I were going to partake in the food of the Orient... Chicken Fried Rice and Egg Rolls... Little did I know that they were going to make them all from scratch, on the spot..."While you wait."

And wait I did.... By the time I got to the school, Jared's class was just about to the door. We walked down to the lunchroom where we met Sherry, already on lunchroom duty. Sherry's lunch follows directly after Jared's, so the plan was to eat with Jared and then to finish eating with Sherry.

Jared, being the feisty kid he is, arranged for several of his buddies to sing "Happy Birthday" to me just after we sat down. We ate and visited, and then Sherry came in and we repeated the process. I left the school feeling full and happy and ready for a quick nap.

I came home and flipped on the computer. Luke was barking and Socks was nudging me, so I knew that someone wanted to go outside for a bit. I let the dogs out and pulled up my email on the PC and was just getting into a rather interesting Publisher's Clearinghouse e-mail when the phone rang.

My Sister's name was on the caller ID, so I guessed it was a Happy Birthday call. I guessed wrong.
"Mom's in the Hospital," Kayla began. "I went to pick her up to take her to the Doctor because she'd been sick a few days, but when I got there she looked really bad and her lips were blue."

My heart did a quick somersault. Mom hadn't been in good health for awhile, so I knew that someday I'd get a call like this. Kayla went on to explain that Mom had been having problems breathing and that they'd admitted her to ICU... She mentioned Mom's "Do Not Resuscitate" order and a bunch of other stuff that only led me to believe that Mom was dying.

I suddenly became afraid. Not so much for my Mom's death, because knowing she's a Christian, she has good "AFTERLIFE INSURANCE," but because for the first time in my life I had to face the fact that someday, my Mom would be gone.

I've been guilty over the last several years of not being a very good Son. I love my parents, but being three hours away, (While not an eternity) has made it more difficult to visit as often as I'd like to. Now that our Sons have gotten older, their activities and our activities have kind of flooded our lives to the point that finding the time to get away has narrowed the windows of opportunity for visits to practically zero.

Either we don't have the extra time or we don't have the extra money. Last summer, when gas required a credit check and a down payment, trips anywhere were totally out of the question. This year, I hope that problem won't be a problem....however, with Jared's new baseball team, the amount of games scheduled has doubled from 20 to 40, which makes our weekends a whole lot busier. When you throw Church, School and work into the mix....well, you get the idea.

Back to Mom...
So I got off the phone. The first thing I did was call Sherry and leave a message, knowing that she wouldn't get to her phone until school let out. I called my Sister, Cindy...who I love, but has major issues with my Mom and who I knew would be a difficult call. After talking to her for awhile I sent out a request for prayer on facebook and got a tremendous, immediate response from friends old and new. I was amazed!

Cindy called back. I called my Boss and left a message that I'd need time off from work. I then called my other Boss to tell them I'd need time off from work. Cindy called back to tell me Happy Birthday because in all of the other hubbub, she'd forgotten to say it to me.

I was fielding IM's from facebook when Sherry got home. We started to talk about Mom and I was really doing okay until Sherry hugged me. Then it hit me. Noah would have had to have built another boat if he'd been there. We knew that Jared had ball practice that night and Dustin had a school program, but was feeling sick, so we thought it best to get things ready and then head down on Friday morning. My old friend, Dave called and offered to help in any way possible. I thanked him for that and for making me cry again.

Friday arrived to a flurry of packing and more phone calls and e-mails. Luke and Socks picked up on the frantic behavior and they got into it to, with Socks jumping in and out of the van and Luke barking his fuzzy brains out.

We hit the road. The weather was beautiful; my stomach the usual mess that it is on travel days.
We got to Springfield and went right to the hospital where we ran right into Kayla and our friend, Jeff's Wife...who works in the hospital and had been told by her Husband to come check on my Mom... Mom seemed surprised and happy to see us. She looked tired and helpless and weak. My heart did another gymnastic maneuver. We visited for awhile and she tried to talk around the oxygen mask and over the sound of the whirring machinery that was helping her to breathe. Her nurse was not happy that she was trying to talk at all.

We spent the night in Strafford with Sherry's folks and ate the required local delicacy "Cashew Chicken" which is a dish prepared by the natives of the region. (It was delicious!) We got up the next morning and thought we'd let Mom sleep and go back to the hospital around noon. Dustin and I drove around a bit, even stopping to visit with an old neighbor of ours.

Mom's boyfriend, Granville was at the hospital when we arrived and we visited with him for awhile too. Mom looked and sounded better. Her Doctor arrived and said she looked better to him as well and then he confirmed what we'd thought, that she'd almost died two days before.
Mom told him that she'd only been in the hospital once before...44 years ago to the day. (The day I was born).

On Saturday night, we visited again, this time seeing Kayla and my Cousin, Warren while we were there. Mom looked even better and assured us that we should go back home that her "facebook prayers" had helped and that she was going to be fine.

We drove back through some soft rains and flashing skies, beating the snow to Kansas City by only a few hours.

I spoke with Mom again on Monday and she sounded stronger still. She moved out of ICU on Monday and out of the hospital on Wednesday. She's in an assisted living facility now, and according to my Sister, she looks and feels ten years younger. I guess pure, forced oxygen will do that to you.

I love my Mom. I haven't always agreed with her on things, nor have I always thought she was perfect, but I think for the most part she's tried. She's had a pretty good life overall....growing up poor but happy and struggling through her early adult life. She's eased in and out of the middle class on more than one occasion and she helped my Grandma make it through her final years.

She's always had a sense of humor, and I guess I can give her the credit (or blame) for my sense of humor too. She was always a friend to my friends, and I think that's why they remember her... She's stubborn, proud and hard-headed...(if you ever met my Grandpa, you know it's hereditary!)

She's the Mom that God gave me and she'll be in my life forever... I told her that next time she wants us to come visit, to try not and be so dramatic!

In all of the chaos of the week, I nearly forgot about my birthday. We tried to celebrate it on Sunday the 5th at the baseball stadium, but it snowed... I guess we'll try again next April.

David

And suddenly, when the situation looked totally hopeless...

After an AMAZING weekend...Monday came round again to jar us back into a sense of reality...of sorts.

This past weekend was the "BIG BLIZZARD OF 2009," Which only looked like a blizzard with its 25 MPH winds and blowing snow, ice, rain and sleet. Wrecks were had, stores were shuttered and many a take out pizza was devoured.

I awoke Saturday morning expecting the blizzard of all blizzards and found that it had only sprinkled and "ice pelleted" a bit overnight. I was kind of in an "all or nothing" mood, thinking that it might be nice for once to actually have a threatening snowstorm actually threaten us. Usually we get these impending doom forecasts and then awake to nada, so this time...I wanted to get the smack down! A real, honest-to-goodness blast of last-ditch Winter that would scare folks enough to make them stay indoors and build a fire.

By noon we had more ice pellets and some pretty gusty winds, but still no "Apocalyptic Snowstorm" as had been promised. Dustin had no plans for the day since we'd warned him of the weather, and Jared had baseball practice (indoors of course) scheduled, that had not yet been canceled. So, with that in mind, Sherry, Jared and I started out on our trek... Shortly before our time to leave arrived, the snow began to fall. Not just any snow, mind you...but snowflakes the size of Half Dollar coins!

The wind increased making white-out conditions the norm. Suddenly, the Half-Dollar sized flakes grew to can-lid sized flakes! Having never witnessed flakes of that enormity (other than at the Democratic Convention), I paused to take a few photographs, should the evidence be later needed for blog purposes such as this.

We got into the van and slid sideways pulling out of the driveway. "UH OH" we said in collective agreement. We slid around the corner and down the hill and up a hill and around another corner.
"I'm calling the Coach" I said. The Coach agreed with my assessment of the weather and he too, decided that the practice facility fifteen miles away was too far a destination in such foul weather.
We turned around and headed for home...by way of Burger King and Taco Bell.

We arrived home after taking a slight detour to avoid sliding up and down and around, and still we did slide a bit regardless of our well-thought plans. We ate and then, seeing as how it was cold, overcast and snowing a tempest outside, we opted for nap-time. As I dozed next to my mate of lo these many years, I was awakened by a phone call.

Barnes and Noble (yes the actual Mr. Barnes and Mr. Noble) was calling to tell me that in spite of my wonderful work ethic and endless optimism, I would not be needed for the evening, since the store would be closing early due to the less than appealing weather. Having no need for money (seeing as how I'm independently wealthy and all that), I laughed a happy laugh and went quickly back to slumberland.

That night, as the storm closed in around us, my Wife snuggled close to me. "Protect me Dear," she begged. "Protect our loving family," she said, referring to the urchins we had taken in several years before. "Why yes, my love" I said. "I shall forever hold and keep you...or keep and hold you...whichever comes first!"

So we gathered on the Couch, just the two of us...and watched "Fireproof" starring Kirk Cameron of "Growing Pains" while the little ones watched the television sets in their rooms. We knew that whatever the weather had in store for those outside; it could not break through the bounds of our love and inflict it's cold cruelty upon us.

The next morning, we awoke late as our rooster had frozen solid during the night. We had slept right through church like a band of Heathens...or like some of the old people who sit on the back row in the sanctuary. The sun was dazzling yellow in the sky and the snow screamed weakly as it puddled it's way into the ground.

We were proud of what we had done. We had faced the evil storm and vanquished it with the warm light of day...and a couple of snow shovels to clear a path to our doorstep.
All in all, it was the perfect blizzard... Brief, and to the point...much like this story...
Today, only two days later...the temps reached a balmy 67 degrees and the blizzard, like this story...is now but a memory...

The End...

David Cox

Just give me something to talk about

So for the past few weeks I've been fielding complaints from my regular readers that my blogs have been coming in less-than-regularly... and for that, I am sorry....but....
I've had a bit of writer's block. Not that I haven't had anything to say, but more of the "how to say it" variety.

So, here I am... How are you? What have you been up to lately? See? Nothing of note to note.
I talked to my Sister, Cindy on the phone last night for the first time in a long time. We talked for almost an hour. After that, I called my Nephew, Shannon, who I literally have not talked to in years. We talked for quite a while about our kids, our lives and most importantly...BASEBALL!

Now those of you who know me know that I am an avid baseball fan and even more so I'm a RABID Kansas City Royals fan! A blog or two ago I posted pictures from the Royals fan fest, and sometime in early April I hope to post pictures of the Season Home Opener here in Kansas City! For the first time in....EVER!!! I was able to get some tickets to the first home game of the season.

This year is especially important being that it is the first one in the "new" stadium. Not only that, but our team is looking better than ever this year! I realize that by putting this in print it may come back to haunt me Ala the SPORTS ILLUSTRATED CURSE, but I'm willing to take my chances. The Royals had the best September in all of baseball and we had some of the very best pitching in the closing days of the season, which is very promising when you look at all that Greinke and Soria did last season and then they went out with a bang and not a whimper...(THANK GOODNESS!)

So, on April 10th, you know where I'll be, along with Jared...the other baseball nut in our house...


On the home front...Dustin turned 15 and got his learner's permit and has been tooling around the hood with us in the car. I must say, he's really pretty good and would be perfect if he'd stop hugging the edge of the pavement and making REALLY wide turns. Other than that, he's doing well.

Jared turned 9 and finished out the basketball season at almost the same time. His team ended up 2nd in the city tournament, although I thought they could have and should have won the whole thing. They had a great season! Baseball practice has already started and we've been busy with that... We moved our new team from Independence to Fort Osage, which I think is a positive move. We'll just hope and pray for the best, but I'm really impressed with the new Coach and team.

See, nothing huge going on...no super-deep thoughts, no witty asides... just life... Hope yours is going well.

Dave

The good the Dad and the ugly

Lately I feel like the old 1970's toy, Stretch Armstrong... He was a rubber bodybuilder that you could pull about ten different directions at once, almost to the breaking point....but then, he'd suddenly snap back into place (slowly actually) as if nothing had ever happened....and would be ready to be stretched again another day.

Call me Stretch Armstrong! Between work and work and basketball and baseball...between school activities and home and driving to work and home and other things, I think I'm reaching a point...and not a good point, in which someday, like dear old, Stretch Armstrong...I will snap!

Tonight, my youngest pushed me closer to that point. I spent several minutes the other day looking up juvenile biographies for him for a school project, only to hear when I got them home, "I don't want to do those!" I explained to him that I brought home the books he asked for and he said he'd changed his mind. Now he wants to do some goofy pro-wrestler, which I have already explained is a complete "NO" in my book.

Tonight we argued about it more than I ever thought possible and it ended up with me saying that he was on his own on this project and that he could expect no further help from me.
So, was I wrong? The yelling was a bit much, I will admit, but given his strong-willed nature, it could have been worse I suppose.

I think I'm just tired. This weekend alone we had a baseball fundraiser, a basketball championship game (we lost), I worked, we had a baseball meeting, I had errands to run, we had company, I had more errands to run and I took Dustin to the movies. Whew! Now it is late Sunday night and I have Monday to look forward to and a big headache roaming around in my head growling, which I'm sure is a precursor to a really loud ROAR.

"You should take it easy" my friends say, and Yes, I really should...but I don't have time.
I would like to plan some vacation days off around our 20th Anniversary this summer...but if it isn't me or our schedule, it will probably be our finances that get to play STRETCH ARMSTRONG.

-David

A sleepy man in a sleepless land

I'm twelve years old as I drift down the Finley River in Southwest Missouri. I sit in an old inner-tube, wearing a Star Wars T-Shirt and a bathing suit and some old Chuck Taylor Converse Tennis Shoes on my feet because sometimes the bottom of the river will hide broken glass in it's murky waters.

The day is warm and I'm drowsy as I float along, absently kicking my feet gently just beneath the surface of the water. I pick each foot up, one at a time, and watch the water drip and pour off of them returning again to the river. The waterfall ahead, next to where a mill once stood, rumbles noisily in the distance.

Something looks different about the edge of the falls on this day... where the river should continue beyond the waterfall is a green wall covered with white dresser-drawer knobs, that covers my entire field of vision. "What the heck is that doing there?" I say aloud as I draw nearer.

The inner-tube glides along and instead of going over the falls, it bumps up against the big green wall, again and again and again. I reach up for one of the dresser knobs, and pull myself up out of the water. I reach up, hand over hand and start to climb. I position each foot carefully on a knob and begin climbing up the giant wall that reaches into the sky. Above me, a hawk circles endlessly and calls out to no one in particular.

I realize that I'm now hanging about thirty-five feet above the water and just as I'm about to continue my ascent, the phone begins to ring. After the second ring, I open my eyes and roll over on the bed...the clock reads 3:37...which means I have been asleep for only seven minutes. Funny, it seemed like much longer. I pick up the phone..."Hello," I say. "No, I don't know where Jared is at the moment...I'll find out...Hold on."

"JARED!" I yell. "What?" He queries. "Phone call!" I yell. "Who is it?" He asks. "Who is it?" I ask.
I am informed that it is Robert. "It's Robert," I yell. "I don't want to talk to him..." Jared answers. "He's busy" I lie. Click goes the phone.

I look at the clock which reads 3:39. I roll over. I close my eyes.

The wall is blue now and the river is green. The hawk is now a toucan and Sherry is standing on the inner-tube, balancing on it like a surf board. I am now only ten feet above the water. "Great!" I think. "Now I have to climb all that way back up! Stupid Phone call. Stupid Robert!"

"What are you doing?" Sherry asks, still inner-tube surfing. "Climbing" I answer... "Duh" I think.
"How are you balancing like that?" I ask. "I've known how to do this since I was a kid" she answers, very matter-of-factly. "My Dad taught me!"
"Oh" I answer.

There is a knocking in the distance. I think it is either Sherry or the toucan, but I'm not sure. Knock Knock Knock and then suddenly, the doorbell rings. "Jared" I yell. "Get the door!"
Jared answers "I'm not supposed to get the door when you're asleep!" "Shoot!" I think..."He's right!"

I get up off the bed and trudge down the stairs in my socks, jeans and Royals Baseball T-Shirt.
The sun is awfully bright for a not sunny day. I open the door and Dustin's friends, Ron and John are standing there.
"Is Dustin home?" they ask in unison. "No, he's at a friend's house" I answer. They shrug and straggle off of the porch and down the steps. No wasted small-talk there. I lock the door and head back upstairs. I look at the clock which reads 3:59.

"Where did you get the boat?" I yell to Sherry from my perch, high above. "My Dad built it" she says. I'm starting to wonder how her Dad could build a boat in the time that it took me to go answer the door, but then I think "It's a dream, Dave...go with it." I'm marveling at this amazing boat that Sherry's Dad has built and then I start to wonder Sherry has done with my inner-tube.

"Why are you still up there?" Sherry asks. "I don't know" I answer, but I'm thinking that I really want to get a closer look at this hawk/toucan. I look up at the sky but don't see him. "Where did the bird go?" I ask. "Which one?" Sherry asks..."The owl?"
"Yeah," I answer, thinking that she obviously doesn't know her birds. "He's down here, my Dad is fixing him some eggs." Sherry says.

As I climb down I begin to think about the moral implications of an owl eating eggs, when the phone rings. I open one eye and then the other. It is now 4:11 according to the clock. I pick up the phone and a cheery, robotic voice informs me to STAY ON THE LINE FOR AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE... I do. They try to tell me I need to have my van serviced soon. I hang up. I shut my eyes. I groan and fall asleep.

The owl is sitting at the table inside the large galley of the ship. Sherry's Dad is dishing out some scrambled eggs to him and he sits holding a fork and a knife in each claw. He licks his beak and begins too cut the eggs and then stops. "Hey, do you have any orange juice?" The owl asks. Sherry's Dad silently crosses to the refrigerator an gets a carton of juice out for the owl. Who knew that owls drank orange juice? I think to myself as I watch.

The boat begins to shake violently and I discover that it is only me shaking. Everything else is perfectly still. I awake to find Socks on the end of the bed, scratching violently at her neck. "Dog" I say to her..."This better be real good!" The clock says 4:23...I have it set to go off at 4:30.
I get up, plug in the iron and turn it on. Get out some clothes for work and go to get a drink of water.

Once again, nap time is foiled by the efforts of everyone and everything other than me. I may never again return to the Finley River of my dreams...and I'll never know if the Owl drank his orange juice or finished his eggs; or just how exactly Sherry's Dad got into the boat building business.

-David

Diary of a lazy blogger

I have been so bad about blogging lately that I've dropped from writing several times a week to just about once each month... That is really pathetic! I used to live for writing this blog...but then facebook came along and took all of my spare time and energy away. "DARN YOU, FACEBOOK!"

We've been busy since Christmas with basketball and birthdays. Baseball practice has started now and we're about to get really busy! All this and our Church has started a youth basketball program that I'd like to see Jared get involved with if it doesn't conflict with baseball.

A couple of months ago I started a "Support Group" on facebook.com for people who grew up in Strafford, Missouri...or for people who went to school or even still live there. By "Support Group" I mean a social networking group that allows classmates to reunite online and visit or post pictures...
It's been kind of fun and we now have 136 members online. I've really enjoyed visiting with a ton of old friends and have met some really nice people who came to the town or the school, long after I left...

This Winter has been up and down, weather-wise with days in the 70's followed by days in the 20's. We started out with a bunch of small snows, but haven't had anything significant since Christmas. The main story has been the wind... I don't ever remember a winter quite as windy as this one has been.

Since the new year, we have a new President. I guess he's okay so far, but he's made a few astounding mistakes...although his die-hard supporters are quick to say it's too early to judge him...(I wonder if they said the same thing about Bush... ? The answer: DUH, NO!!!)

TV has been pretty good lately with "American Idol," "SCRUBS" and "LOST" all returning... and let me just say "LOST" has been phenomenal!

Dustin has been busy with school and his music...Jared has been busy with basketball (his team is 8 and 2 for the season). And Sherry is working and working and working... As for me...I'm busy too... my knees have been pretty good, save for the occasional weakness or slight pain in my right knee. God has been watching over me on this and he's doing a pretty good job. (He ALWAYS does a good job...)

I've been visiting some with Klauspeter online and on the phone... That has stirred up my dream of going to Europe again. Sherry and I have talked about this over and over throughout the years and really want to go...but it's never the right time... I'm beginning to think that the right time is getting closer... FINGERS CROSSED.... I'm really wanting to go!!!

I guess I'll keep you posted...

Dave

Okay, it is official... I have no spare time

With my addiction to facebook and trying to figure out Twitter (which I've had for over a year and NEVER used) I am spiraling downward into an Internet abyss that keeps getting deeper.
Curt Schilling, the great Boston Red Sox Pitcher, keeps touting TWITTER as one of his fave things, but I don't see the thrill yet.

Add to that Basketball games, practices, school programs...etc... and then factor in the fact that baseball practice starts this week and PRESTO! You have maximum busy-ness!

On the home front... Sherry has been busy with work...Dustin with school...Jared with Sports and me with all of the above... well, school in the sense that I help the boys with homework when I can...

Dustin's band kind of fell apart, so he's been a bit down about that... Jared's Basketball team keeps chalking up the wins and is heading towards their final game this weekend... hopefully they'll still be at only one loss for the season. They have a tourney coming up in a couple of weeks and then that's it for the year.

Baseball looks different for him this year with the collapse of his old team, the BULLDOGS. Several of the team members, along with Jared are forming "THE WARRIORS" and will start practice this week... I'm excited because in addition to wearing a Billy Butler shirt (GO ROYALS!) and drinking from an Alex Gordon mug (GO ROYALS!) I am a die hard baseball fan who is raring to go for another season of youth baseball! (GO WARRIORS!)

I don't have any recent Dustin pics or Sherry pics, but I do have a picture of the fuzzy-faced, bad breath girl that I woke up with this morning and some basketball pics of Jared's team beating their rivals 18-2... It was a good, very quick weekend....hope the next weekend gets here soon!
Oh, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUSTIN...which is coming up this WEDNESDAY!

Have a good week and a Happy Valentine's Day....

Dave

"Have a Blasted Day!" and other misadventures of the Hearing Impaired

I'm assuming most of you reading this know me....and if you know me, you must know my Wife, Sherry. Since a very young age, Sherry has been hearing impaired. This has been a source of struggle and pain for her for most of her life, and yet at times we have been able to find humor in the things that have been mis-heard or misunderstood.

Tonight we were shopping at the dreadful WAL-MART and as we were leaving the cashier said "Have a Blessed day." I said thanks and Sherry and I continued walking out of the store. As we were walking outside Sherry turned to me and asked "What did she say?" And I replied "Have a blessed day." Sherry looked at me and asked "Have a blasted day?" Of course, we both laughed about this even after we got into the van and were pulling out of the lot.

This leads me to think about all of the ways we can help the hard-of-hearing to "hear" us better.
Of course, sometimes if you're walking and talking, just being visible to the person with the hearing loss is a problem. In Sherry's case, she reads lips a lot to get by, so if we're walking and talking, she's probably getting about a fourth of what is being said.

Sometimes when people find out she's hard of hearing they shout at her or they over enunciate which makes them look like they're playing charades or speaking like a puppet. Shouting at her raises the volume, but not the clarity of the conversation and can actually distort what the person is saying.

I try to give her clues whenever possible, but even I fall into the habit of repeating the same words over again...this doesn't help very much because if she didn't hear it once, it's likely that she won't hear it again....so rephrasing really helps, especially on the phone.

Talking one on one with her is best...background noises and distractions are....DISTRACTIONS! Imagine that?!!! If something is misunderstood, keep trying and rephrasing if you have to.
If she misunderstands something, correct her politely...try not to laugh...although, as I mentioned earlier...if you know her well and are comfortable together, sometimes the things that are misunderstood are really very funny...

My kids favorite one is the time that there was a woodpecker outside our bedroom window pecking away at the guttering. It was pretty loud and of course had a metallic "clang" to it, but she couldn't tell what it was. Jared, Dustin and I each tried to explain that it was a woodpecker, but she wasn't catching it...finally she said "How can there be a dishwasher on the side of the house???" The kids nearly fell in the floor laughing.

She used to get really upset with people not being very sensitive to her hearing loss. Mostly people would pick up on the tonality of her voice and say "Oh, I love your accent, are you from Boston?" or they'd ask where she was from. She used to ignore some people, but as you know...as well meaning as people are...some people would persist and then she'd get red-faced and try to explain that she was hard of hearing. It was awkward for her and the person involved.

We once had a very pushy car salesman who was being as obnoxious as possible in trying to hard sell us a car. We were really wanting to buy this car, but not from this particular guy... he was such a stereotype with his gold chains and shirt unbuttoned to expose his chubby, hairy chest. He just kept saying and doing everything wrong and then, in the middle of everything he says to Sherry "Hey, I like your accent...it's kinda funny...like you're from the East Coast or something."

At that point I didn't know if I should duck, run or just scoot way back in my chair. I half expected Sherry to dive over the desk and pummel the guy. For a minute I almost felt bad for him. I asked him if we could be excused while we stepped out of the room to talk. We went up to the service desk and told the manager that we'd like to buy a car, but we wouldn't buy one from them if "Stan" the obnoxious salesman was involved in any way. I'm guessing Stan got talked to a bit after we left.

Sherry asked me early on when we were first dating if her "handicap" bothered me... I answered "What Handicap?" She had grown up looking at herself as a hard of hearing person, while I looked at her as someone who just happened to be hard of hearing. I wasn't about to let her hearing loss define her because she was so much more than that to me.

Since then, she's come out of her shell a lot. She's stuck up for herself in situations where she used to just sit back and simmer about it....she was always kind of shy, but she went on to be the President of the Kansas City Self Help for the Hard of Hearing, and began to see her hearing loss as just a part of who she is....albeit a BIG part, but not the ONLY part.

I teasingly told her once that I loved her so much that I "Loved her guts" (which I thought would be the opposite of hating some one's guts.) She gave me a weird look and asked "You love my Ducks?"

-David

I've got something to say

Recently my friend Gail posted a great blog in which she questioned whether Conservatism was dying (read here http://impoliteconversationwithgail.blogspot.com).

After reading it I thought I agreed with her on about 85% of her topic...but after re-reading it I'm dropping my number down to about 50%. While I do feel that the Conservative movement suffered a great blow during this last election. (Not so much because they lost out to Obama, but more because John McCain was their candidate, and as much as he tried, he never really swayed the hardcore Conservatives to believe in him).

Conservatives are not dying...they're just on a break (and no, I don't mean a "time out.") They have to regroup and decide where they want to go, what they want to do and how they wish to say it. They have an agenda and a system of core beliefs...they just didn't get it out there well enough this time... But elections cycles are just that...cyclical. We'll have 8 good years or 8 bad years, followed by 4 or 8 bad years and so on. These things always seem to work themselves out.

Gail goes on to say that Rush Limbaugh was out of line in spending his showtime on Inauguration Day going after Obama. He may have been over-the-top, but I feel he was well within his rights to espouse whatever he was feeling at that time...after all, it is his show and those who live or die with Rush were probably right there in the trenches with him.

Do I think he could have pulled back a bit? Yes... I too feel that the process of transferring power from one President to the next is a solemn spectacle and should be viewed with a certain reverence. (Although I think swipes at Aretha Franklin's hat were more than deserved...I mean, really...she had SKYLAB on her head!).

Rush Limbaugh's opinions were no more offensive than the parade of onlookers that pelted President Bush's car with eggs or held signs reading "Commander in Thief" or "Not my President" along the parade route for the past two Inauguration days. Seeing those people do that in the name of "free speech" sickened me. While Limbaugh's diatribe was again, "a bit much," I don't think the two even compare.

Limbaugh is being Limbaugh...and if you don't like it, don't listen. Sometimes I find him entertaining and other times he seems (to put it nicely) to be a bit of a pompous jerk. I think he could have set aside or toned down his rhetoric for the day at least, but then again, did the Bush critics ever give #43 that chance?

The historic (and dare I say "Hysteric") events of this week have now been documented for all time. Will we look back on them fondly or will we look back with trepidation? I have "hope" that President Obama really does want to do right for America. I never thought that Bush had anything other than that in mind as well. But of course, we live in a big world and one President, even the leader of the free world, can make mistakes.

I say give Obama a chance...wish the best for him...if he fails, don't we as Americans all fail?
I remember one of my Democrat friends saying after Bush was elected the first time. "I hope he falls on his *butt. That will show all of the idiots that voted for him that they made a stupid choice." I told my friend that what was stupid was her statement... why would you want our Leader to fail? Of course this never changed her mind, but it changed mine... I would never want a President to fail...even if it is one I didn't vote for.

So let Rush vent... let him cool off a bit. He may end up thanking Obama the way that he thanked Clinton when Clinton left office...or, it may challenge him to look at things differently...perhaps even more constructively.

In the meantime I hope that Aretha Franklin buys a different hat in case she's ever called upon to sing in public again.

David

Royals Fanfest 2009

Greinke signing autographs
Jared pitching while Kyle Davies watches
David catching a fly ball and winning the big game
and below is a picture of Jared with his new best friend, Mike Aviles, who he got to play ball with

Having attended last year's Fanfest, I was eager to return and take my baseball fanatic Son, Jared along with me. This year was bigger and better than last year with a lot of new events and things to participate in.

With growth and change comes some growing pains however, the biggest being the invasion of the autograph hounds. Now I, along with Jared, am an avid baseball autograph collector...but, not so much that I will run full speed through an entertainment venue to get one. Not only did I see kids running haphazardly through the place, but there was more than one adult willing to do so as well.

The other bad thing about the autograph hounds, is that they made it virtually impossible to visit any of the autograph stages. The only autographs we obtained this weekend, were out on the floor. We got several that way, and had a near autograph encounter with Billy Butler and Shane Costa while walking through the convention center.

Jared had the rare occasion to play ball with Kila Kaaihue and Mike Aviles, and also got some pitching advice and laudatory comments from Pitchers John Bale, Neal Musser, Ron Mahay and Kyle Davies. Jared was throwing perfect strikes at about 37-45 Miles per hour, which is good for an 8 year old. (at least that's what the pitchers were telling him.)

Fanfest was an opportunity to get a lot of free things...hats, T-Shirts, little rubber MLB baseballs. Royals flags and duffel bags, and bobble heads too. (The night of the Tony Pena, Jr. Bobble head give-away last summer must have been the most sparsely attended game of the year, as they seemed to have an unlimited supply of those to give away!)

The best thing for me, was the dollar table at the Royals store. There you could find TONS of Mike Sweeney items for a buck, along with a 4 piece set of Drinking glasses that had been originally priced at 36.00 dollars for...guess what? A DOLLAR!
We also snagged some nifty baseballs and some Mike Sweeney wall posters. What a deal!
They had other player items too, but Sweeney was a big draw for us.

Nicest surprise of the day was the sight of Greinke, formerly reclusive, now inclusive Royals pitcher, who stayed after one of the Q and A sessions to sign autographs for the kids. GOOD JOB GREINKE!

Jared got to shag fly balls, bat, pitch, run and win prizes... so how can that not be a good thing? I even got up onstage in front of thousands of people to show how I can dislocate my fingers as part of "KC ROYALS GOT TALENT." Hey, I would rather have sang, but they asked specifically for double-jointed people, so I took the offer... I got a Tony Pena, Jr. Bobble head for it too!

-David