Of Mothers and Sons

This week has been a rough one... If you've been on Facebook, you've no doubt seen me posting status updates on my Mom's health... If not, here's the skinny... On Thursday, April 2nd, my Mom was admitted to St. John's Hospital in Springfield in full Respiratory failure. She was cold and turning blue by the time they got her to ICU.

That morning started off like any other day, except that it was my birthday and I had scheduled some off time from work (or "ME TIME" as it were). I slept in a bit that morning, did some facebooking and then went to pick up lunch for Sherry, Jared and myself so that I could take it up to the school and surprise them with takeout food.

Jared, the non-eater of the bunch, was actually easier to buy for this day. I went straight for Burger King and got the 4 piece chicken kids meal and the chocolate milk. Sherry and I were going to partake in the food of the Orient... Chicken Fried Rice and Egg Rolls... Little did I know that they were going to make them all from scratch, on the spot..."While you wait."

And wait I did.... By the time I got to the school, Jared's class was just about to the door. We walked down to the lunchroom where we met Sherry, already on lunchroom duty. Sherry's lunch follows directly after Jared's, so the plan was to eat with Jared and then to finish eating with Sherry.

Jared, being the feisty kid he is, arranged for several of his buddies to sing "Happy Birthday" to me just after we sat down. We ate and visited, and then Sherry came in and we repeated the process. I left the school feeling full and happy and ready for a quick nap.

I came home and flipped on the computer. Luke was barking and Socks was nudging me, so I knew that someone wanted to go outside for a bit. I let the dogs out and pulled up my email on the PC and was just getting into a rather interesting Publisher's Clearinghouse e-mail when the phone rang.

My Sister's name was on the caller ID, so I guessed it was a Happy Birthday call. I guessed wrong.
"Mom's in the Hospital," Kayla began. "I went to pick her up to take her to the Doctor because she'd been sick a few days, but when I got there she looked really bad and her lips were blue."

My heart did a quick somersault. Mom hadn't been in good health for awhile, so I knew that someday I'd get a call like this. Kayla went on to explain that Mom had been having problems breathing and that they'd admitted her to ICU... She mentioned Mom's "Do Not Resuscitate" order and a bunch of other stuff that only led me to believe that Mom was dying.

I suddenly became afraid. Not so much for my Mom's death, because knowing she's a Christian, she has good "AFTERLIFE INSURANCE," but because for the first time in my life I had to face the fact that someday, my Mom would be gone.

I've been guilty over the last several years of not being a very good Son. I love my parents, but being three hours away, (While not an eternity) has made it more difficult to visit as often as I'd like to. Now that our Sons have gotten older, their activities and our activities have kind of flooded our lives to the point that finding the time to get away has narrowed the windows of opportunity for visits to practically zero.

Either we don't have the extra time or we don't have the extra money. Last summer, when gas required a credit check and a down payment, trips anywhere were totally out of the question. This year, I hope that problem won't be a problem....however, with Jared's new baseball team, the amount of games scheduled has doubled from 20 to 40, which makes our weekends a whole lot busier. When you throw Church, School and work into the mix....well, you get the idea.

Back to Mom...
So I got off the phone. The first thing I did was call Sherry and leave a message, knowing that she wouldn't get to her phone until school let out. I called my Sister, Cindy...who I love, but has major issues with my Mom and who I knew would be a difficult call. After talking to her for awhile I sent out a request for prayer on facebook and got a tremendous, immediate response from friends old and new. I was amazed!

Cindy called back. I called my Boss and left a message that I'd need time off from work. I then called my other Boss to tell them I'd need time off from work. Cindy called back to tell me Happy Birthday because in all of the other hubbub, she'd forgotten to say it to me.

I was fielding IM's from facebook when Sherry got home. We started to talk about Mom and I was really doing okay until Sherry hugged me. Then it hit me. Noah would have had to have built another boat if he'd been there. We knew that Jared had ball practice that night and Dustin had a school program, but was feeling sick, so we thought it best to get things ready and then head down on Friday morning. My old friend, Dave called and offered to help in any way possible. I thanked him for that and for making me cry again.

Friday arrived to a flurry of packing and more phone calls and e-mails. Luke and Socks picked up on the frantic behavior and they got into it to, with Socks jumping in and out of the van and Luke barking his fuzzy brains out.

We hit the road. The weather was beautiful; my stomach the usual mess that it is on travel days.
We got to Springfield and went right to the hospital where we ran right into Kayla and our friend, Jeff's Wife...who works in the hospital and had been told by her Husband to come check on my Mom... Mom seemed surprised and happy to see us. She looked tired and helpless and weak. My heart did another gymnastic maneuver. We visited for awhile and she tried to talk around the oxygen mask and over the sound of the whirring machinery that was helping her to breathe. Her nurse was not happy that she was trying to talk at all.

We spent the night in Strafford with Sherry's folks and ate the required local delicacy "Cashew Chicken" which is a dish prepared by the natives of the region. (It was delicious!) We got up the next morning and thought we'd let Mom sleep and go back to the hospital around noon. Dustin and I drove around a bit, even stopping to visit with an old neighbor of ours.

Mom's boyfriend, Granville was at the hospital when we arrived and we visited with him for awhile too. Mom looked and sounded better. Her Doctor arrived and said she looked better to him as well and then he confirmed what we'd thought, that she'd almost died two days before.
Mom told him that she'd only been in the hospital once before...44 years ago to the day. (The day I was born).

On Saturday night, we visited again, this time seeing Kayla and my Cousin, Warren while we were there. Mom looked even better and assured us that we should go back home that her "facebook prayers" had helped and that she was going to be fine.

We drove back through some soft rains and flashing skies, beating the snow to Kansas City by only a few hours.

I spoke with Mom again on Monday and she sounded stronger still. She moved out of ICU on Monday and out of the hospital on Wednesday. She's in an assisted living facility now, and according to my Sister, she looks and feels ten years younger. I guess pure, forced oxygen will do that to you.

I love my Mom. I haven't always agreed with her on things, nor have I always thought she was perfect, but I think for the most part she's tried. She's had a pretty good life overall....growing up poor but happy and struggling through her early adult life. She's eased in and out of the middle class on more than one occasion and she helped my Grandma make it through her final years.

She's always had a sense of humor, and I guess I can give her the credit (or blame) for my sense of humor too. She was always a friend to my friends, and I think that's why they remember her... She's stubborn, proud and hard-headed...(if you ever met my Grandpa, you know it's hereditary!)

She's the Mom that God gave me and she'll be in my life forever... I told her that next time she wants us to come visit, to try not and be so dramatic!

In all of the chaos of the week, I nearly forgot about my birthday. We tried to celebrate it on Sunday the 5th at the baseball stadium, but it snowed... I guess we'll try again next April.

David