Sunday, November 30, 2008

One last Winter



He walks stealthily over the snow and fallen leaves. The squirrel chatters away, not knowing that he is being watched. The stalking game continues even though Luke knows that it will end with the squirrel running up the tree and with him barking up at him as if to say "Get out and Stay out!"

Luke's work is done. The squirrel is vanquished to a neighbor's yard and Luke's back yard is once again a squirrel-free zone. Luke walks slowly back through the mixture of grass, snow and leaves and heads toward the door, where his friend, David stands with a fluffy blue towel, waiting to dry the snow from his coat.

David stands at the window looking out. Wondering if his friend of ten years knows that his days are numbered. He looks at his dog with a combination of amazement and sadness, thinking that they'd never get to this time and place together.

In April of 2007, Luke was diagnosed with cancer. During surgery that month, they removed five tumors from his front and back legs. The tumors were then sent off for diagnosis where it was discovered that the cancer was malignant and widespread. Luke was given six months to a year to live. In the weeks that followed, Luke endured a lot of pain and confusion, some of which was caused by his medication and some was caused by the cone he had to wear around his neck to keep him from biting at his stitches. It was a miserable time for both Luke and his family.

By summer's end of that year, Luke was stronger and more vibrant than he had been in some time. Gone were the days of endless running and playing, but Luke still held that puppy-like sense of wonder and playfulness, even if his body couldn't always keep up with him. He began to trip and fall on occasion and took to running into things more frequently. He still however, would perk up if someone mentioned the words "bread" or "popcorn."

As David looked out on the snow and at his dog, he remembered these things. He also remembered the puppy that Luke had been and the times that he'd hide in the laundry basket and fall asleep, or the time he fell asleep with his head in his dog dish. He recalled with a chuckle all of the times that Luke would somersault onto people's laps if he wanted to play. That was a sight to see, especially after Luke had reached his full weight of one hundred and sixteen pounds!

Luke comes to the door and barks. David, lost in thought, has forgotten that he's standing there with the towel, ready to dry off his old pal. Luke saunters in and sits awkwardly on the rug, waiting for his towel-down. The arthritis in his back legs is flaring up again and it makes him flop down on his stomach so that his legs don't have to bear his weight for so long.

David towels Luke off, carefully wiping the snow from the tip of the old dog's nose, and eyes. Luke bites at the towel and struggles a bit, a little of the pup in him coming out for just a moment. David stares his old friend in the face trying to remember how long ago it was that Luke's facial hairs began to go white.
"Hey old man," he says to his dog, "How come you're so old?" Luke wags his tail and plants a sloppy kiss on his Master's face. Then he barks a happy bark.

David gets Luke up slowly into a standing position and together they walk from the kitchen through the living room to the stairs that lead down to Luke's pen. As usual, Luke sits at the top of the stairs and won't budge until he gets both ears scratched. This process generally lasts several minutes as Luke leans into David's hands and moans and growls happily as his itchy ears find peace.

"C'mon boy!" David says as Luke wobbles upright again. They go through the office to the garage to Luke's waiting bed. Luke lays down on the multiple layers of carpet and rolls onto his side. As David turns to leave, Luke grabs his ankle with an outstretched paw and barks.

"Oh, so you want to play now?" David asks. He kneels as best as he can on his own wobbly knees so that he can sit next to his friend. Luke swipes at David's leg with his paw and then begins to bite on the edge of his shirt. David rubs Luke's tummy and feels the many cysts just beneath the skin. There must be eight or ten of them by now. Luke does a dog scratch with his hind leg as David hits an "Itchy Spot."

David stops for a minute and Luke moves to put his head in David's lap. He growls and then begins licking David's hand. "Luke old boy, I'm gonna miss you." David says.
Luke barks and licks David again. David suddenly realizes that times like these are quickly drawing to a close. He holds Luke's head in his hands and nuzzles his fur to give him a kiss on the top of his big, old head.

Luke, sensing his owner's impending kiss, makes a counter-strike and grabs David's nose with his teeth. "OW!" David yells. Luke quickly stops playing and begins licking David's face. "Okay, I'm not that hurt!" David protests. "Stupid Dog..." he says...and then he adds "Don't die, okay?"

How does it come to this that a grown man can end up sitting in a dog's pen on the floor, crying as he pets a big, dumb dog? As it turns out, Luke is more than a dog, he's family...and, he's actually pretty smart too... He can answer questions, or at least if you ask him a question, he'll bark. He knows the difference between bread, a stick, a ball, a treat, popcorn and pretzels. He recognizes the names of family members and will go to their rooms if you say "Hey Luke, Where's Jared?" or "Where's Dustin?"

The truth is, I will miss Luke as much as any other friend I've ever lost. Heck, I'm crying as I write this, so you can imagine what a sobbing fool I'll be the day he goes. I'm a sucker for animals and a lover of all of God's creatures, so I'm pretty sure a piece of me will die with Luke that day.

I guess I'll spend the rest of Luke's days trying to make sure he has just a little extra food, a little more water, some extra treats (especially bread) and a lot more love. We've been lucky to have him and we'll always have memories of all of our years with Luke and of that one last winter.

David

Sunday, November 23, 2008

I'm dreaming of surviving Christmas...

Wow! I never thought I'd be this worn out already! The Christmas season hasn't even arrived and I'm already tired of it. I know, I feel like a Grinch too! I love Christmas!!! Honestly I do, but for some reason, be it lack of funds, ornery kids, difficult customers....I don't know...maybe a combo of all of them is what is driving me to the brink so early on!

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. This year the winter weather kicked in suddenly, which seems to have hit me harder than in year's past. The cold air goes right through me and makes my old knees (arthritic knees?) ache and makes my balding head way-too-cold. Sometimes it's bad enough to make my bionic shoulders hurt.

Then there are my favorite customers...the LOUD ONES! You know, they sound like George Costanza's Mom on crack and helium, while they attempt to corral three kids, and engage in a lengthy cell phone conversation while asking you for a book that they don't remember the title of or the author, but they know that the cover is blue.

Then due to the sheer number of people you're dealing with, you suddenly realize as you're walking down an empty aisle to avoid the full aisles, you notice that the reason that particular aisle is empty is because you're walking through a "FART CLOUD" that someone has carefully let loose in the vicinity. Shoving your nose into the crook of your elbow, you make your way to the end of the row where you end up face to face with several watery-eyed patrons, who were unlucky enough to also make the brave journey that you have completed. You scan the group hoping to catch sight of the one who might have ripped one and in doing so ripped the hole in the ozone layer just a bit bigger.

(This person usually has the remnants of a Taco Bell combo meal still on there face and is trying to avoid eye contact with you at all costs. You move on as to avoid being caught in another bout of noxious vapor)

Then there are the kids...the ones at work and the ones at home. The ones at work you can leave at work...MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! However, the ones at home are yours to keep. (at least until you're done making payments on them!) These are the ones who are so anxious for Christmas that they forget about the "be good for goodness sake" part of the contract and go straight for the, "Hey I love my Brother, but I really feel like punching him right now for no apparent reason."

These are the same kids that you love so much and yet wish the Prophecies of the movie "LOGAN'S RUN" might apply to. These are the kids that you threaten to spank, ground and cancel Christmas for...but hey, they're family...YOU'RE STUCK WITH THEM!
It's a good thing I'm broke this Christmas, cause I can blame part of the present downsizing on that and the other part on their crappy behavior.

And then there's my Wife, who I would lay down and die for, whose parents so thoughtlessly gave birth to her twelve days before Christmas. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING? On the plus side, I usually just buy a bunch of stuff and then the night before I sort it out... Birthday/Christmas/Birthday/Christmas. I never remember what I gave her for which, but at least I get the job done! But that just makes it more expensive in the long run. PLUS, most of her family's birthdays are in December!
(Of course, most of my family's birthdays are in April...TAX TIME! Good thinking there too, huh?) My Wife's pretty good about the whole thing, and I do love her a lot, so I guess we'll work that part out eventually.

Tonight at work we had the giggly teens, the unruly teens, the loud teens, the giggly adults, the unruly adults and the loud adults. We also had the criminally uninformed, the slightly confused and the completely dippy. Those groups are available in both teen and adult and will be put on clearance after the holidays. (But would make more sense if we could clear them out entirely before the Holiday season which would do loads for our sanity!)

So, Christmas can be an uphill battle. But then I stop and I think of what it is that I like about Christmas...Jesus, Church, Friends and Family, Snow, Santa, Food, Smiles, Warm thoughts and even Warmer Fireplaces... and all of those memories. That erases all of the shopping stresses, the holiday messes and the second guesses of the "Getting ready for Christmas" part of Christmas.

So I'll try to cheer up. I'll pray and be thankful and I'll try to make a positive impact on those around me. If that doesn't work, I'm cancelling Christmas!

David

Sunday, November 16, 2008

43 years 7 months 14 days 10 hours 6 minutes

Up until I was 43 years 3 months and 11 days old, I had only known two people in my entire life who had committed suicide... Three if you count my friend Damon, but all of us who knew him are fairly positive that he was murdered.

Prior to that, I'd had a former classmate and a friend from church kill themselves. It had been pretty calm around here in terms of Suicides for the past 20 plus years, and then, in the past four months I've had the misfortune of knowing two additional people who have decided to end it all.

The first was my friend Scott's Mom. She had been very depressed since her Husband had passed away a few months earlier. They had been married for a very long time and I think the thought of living without him was just too much for her to deal with.

This past Thursday, my friend, Vicki, decided that she'd had enough and found the exit that she thought was best. She too, had lost her true love within the past year and this "attempt" was her second, or perhaps even her third since his death.

When I first heard the news, I was shocked...and then I wasn't. She had been on a downward spiral for awhile. When I last saw her she looked empty...for lack of a better word. Her closest friends were convinced it was only a matter of time before she took her life, but I wasn't so sure....maybe it was the optimist in me...I don't know... how can you ever read that in someones eyes? I knew she was lost, but I didn't know that she'd never find her way back.

One of her closest friends convinced me after her previous attempt that she was determined to succeed and he thought that she would eventually. I hoped that he was wrong.... and for a few months it seemed as if he might be.

All that changed on Thursday. So now I know four people who have killed themselves. Could I have done something to stop them? Is there anything I could have said or done? In Damon's case, I spent the day working with him on a Friday...he spent the day talking about his Daughter's birthday party that he was planning for that Sunday, and for how on Monday, her actual birthday, he would be taking her to Chuck E. Cheese...

I told this to the police on Tuesday of the next week, after they found his body in a parked car on Monday morning. I tried to convince the police that he wouldn't have killed himself on Sunday night if he'd been making plans for Monday....but still they ruled it a suicide.

Was there something that I missed? Mostly I think we all just miss the people when they're gone...

Part of me is sick at the news and of the feeling that they're gone. Part of me is angry at the way they chose to ignore God's will and take their lives in a direction that God abhors... and part of me is just sad for those they left behind.
Whoever said "Suicide is Painless" obviously never knew anyone who tried it.

David

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Luke Cancer Update






Luke seems to be doing well in spite of his terminal status. He's having problems on the stairs once in awhile, but that's more his age than the Cancer. We know his days are numbered, but he seems happy and most days you wouldn't know he was sick. I took these pics the other day during a storm. Just this past year, loud noises like storms have started to scare him....so he was spending time with us in the living room with his "girl" Socks.

PICTURES NOTHING BUT PICTURES





I've traded my mood swings for a mood playground

I swore I wouldn't let the outcome of the election upset me...and really so far, it hasn't. HOWEVER, the attitude of people and their reaction to the election has eroded my positive thoughts all week long.

I was talking to my friends K, G and M and they all agree with me to some extent that people have been taking this thing way to far. I actually had someone tell me that the world seemed brighter and better since the election and that things were instantly going to get better. Hmmm....wonder how that works? There have been some amazing Presidents in the past, but I can't recall any of them magically changing the entire world and it's attitude (and weather) in one day. How is that possible? (or logical even?)

This person (who is a friend) went on to say that we just couldn't take anymore of Bush and that it could never get any worse than him and his years in the White House...

Now, I consider myself an optimist in almost every sense of the word, but even I realize that it could always get worse...CASE IN POINT: The day after the elections, the Russians threatened the United States. That could make things A LOT WORSE!
The economy, which I believe will rebound, could always tank even more so than it has already! What if retail sales and the Stock Market dive during the Christmas Season??? HMMM...what then? Wouldn't that be worse???

Then, another friend of mine started dogging on how stupid Sarah Palin is. Okay, so she gave a couple of bad interviews and now she's stupid? Didn't Tim Russert (a Liberal) once say that someday the Democrats would have to learn that their opponents opinions were different than theirs, but not stupid. Can't we just agree to disagree without labeling everyone as "stupid?" I mean, with all of the Biden Gaffes out there this political season, he would have to be Einstein twice removed!!!

Then yet another friend of mine joined a "Countdown to Bush being out of office club" on Facebook, which might be funny to some people, but just seems tacky to me...I mean, come on! The election was the biggest slap in the face they could have given him. Can't people just be happy with the results and let the poor guy crawl away?

Obama won by about 3 million votes... almost half of the people who voted in Tuesday's Election didn't vote for him... So I fail to see how the world is going to change overnight. I'll give him a chance and I'll give him time to make some changes...and I do sincerely hope he changes things for the better...but for me...so far... nothing has changed. In fact, it may have gotten colder.

David

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

My Fellow Americans

First let me say that although I did not vote for President-Elect Obama...I'm proud of the political process and I wish him the best in his endeavors. I hope he really is all that people seem to think he is and more! I want him to be successful as a President and in representing our country.

I remember four years ago when I voted for President Bush and had people say to me "I hope he falls on his "face" so the whole world will see what a fool we elected." To me, that represents the worst sort of attitude you can have if your candidate loses. When our President loses, we lose... Who wants that to happen???

Am I sorry that Senator McCain lost? Of course I am! I would not have gone to his rally, or posted and delivered signs for him if I didn't believe that he was what is best for our country. I wouldn't have made phone calls on his behalf and prayed for him nightly if I didn't believe.

Many people believe the same thing about Senator Obama, and in this election their voices were heard. I say more power to them! This is the way it's supposed to work. After the glitches and gaffes of the 2000 and 2004 elections it was nice to have one that went uncontested and relatively smooth.

I would have hoped that the press would not have been so biased. I wished that people would stop saying that Sarah Palin was stupid, when it is obvious to anyone that she is a strong, resourceful and intelligent woman who earned her job as the Governor of Alaska and didn't buy her way in or inherit it from a family member who pulled some strings.

And yet, the lack of respect that has been given her, especially by "enlightened" "Feminist" women was appalling. Some even went so far as to produce a commercial featuring young girls who said that if they were raped, Sarah Palin would look the other way! This sort of hate speech needs to end NOW!

I would have loved it if the candidates had answered questions. I would have Really loved it if there had been about a million less commercials. And for the people who broke into McCain Headquarters in Independence to steal laptops and for those who repeatedly broke windows at Obama's campaign HQ, you are the worst of the worst as far as I'm concerned. You and the sign thieves and sign defacers should be forced to live in a country without free elections so that you can really see what a right, a privilege and a duty it is to vote!

Just as there have been bitter Democrats for the past 8 years, now there are bitter Republicans. Don't be bitter... this is a lesson learned. The popular vote was close, so be proud! Your efforts weren't in vain! You worked hard, you tried your best... The nature of elections is cyclical. The Republicans have had the ball for awhile and now it's the Democrat's turn. We hope they do what is best for the country now...

Pray for our leaders, no matter who they are. Hope for the best and help our new leader achieve it...if it doesn't work out, we'll be voting again in a few years!
We're Americans! It's what we do!

Dave