Clothing Optional Pirate Nerds

One of my jobs is located next to a megaplex movie theater that shows all of the latest and most popular films. One of the unfortunate things about this is that within the past several years, people have taken to "dressing up" like some of their favorite characters when going to see some of these movies.

"Harry Potter," "Star Trek," "Star Wars," "The Matrix" and several others now have a fervent following who like to don character duds before trekking off to the theater. "The Matrix" goths were a sullen, pain-in-the-butt group of teens, tweens and adult/adolescents who did nothing but get in the way of real customers.

The "Potteristas" were nerdy, smart, giddy kids who skipped and jumped and hopped about the store as if high on chocolate frogs (I think I got that right, having never read the books!) The "Star Wars" crew was a laid-back group that just wanted a few laughs and a good movie.

Last night's Pirate wannabes were a sorry and scurvy lot. Wenches sauntered through the store while goofy looking Pirate lads ogled their wares. One of the wenches weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of 280 pounds, was pale and lumpy and wearing a no bra under a semi see-through halter top that barely contained her, uh... chest. (to be honest there was so much free swinging movement it looked like a dog fight staged under a blanket!)

By wearing (kind of) a halter top, this left her stomach (stomachs?) to protrude and hang down way onto what would have been her lap (if she'd had one). Stuck right in the middle of her manhole sized belly-button was some sort of jewelry that looked like a jewel incrusted bathtub drain plug.

She was accompanied by a foppish young man that one of my co-workers referred to as a "Swish-buckler," and several other young "women" dressed almost as frightening as her.
Point number one is that she should have never left the house in this outfit. Point number two is "When did every movie opening become an excuse to relive your childhood Halloween?"

If the store had caught fire during the evening (Heaven forbid!) We would have gotten rid of half the nerds in the county...it was that bad! They weren't particularly rude or stupid, it's just that "C'mon! You're adults now, ACT LIKE IT!!!"

Don't get me started on the "Star Trek" idiots....


David

Rosie

First let me say that I don't watch "The View." I have seen a few episodes long ago, pre-Rosie and was not that impressed. I did like Meredith, but now she's off playing with Matt on another network.

Every day I hear about Rosie and her comments and feuds with others... bombastic Donald, Sweet, pure Elizabeth, President Bush... She seems to have an axe to grind with EVERYONE who doesn't follow her around like a puppy. (that would be you, Tom Cruise).

I never cared for her much as an entertainer, and from what I hear now she's not that entertaining... so, she is a "Paris Hilton" type who is in the news just because she wants to be in the news. (which DOES NOT mean that she is newsworthy!)

I don't know if she called our troops "Terrorists," but the fact that many Americans believe that she did should tell you what a lot of people think of her.

She strikes me as more Bully than comedian or commentator.

Dave

Whimpering Whales and other easy targets

Hi Kids,

Today's blog is rated PG-13, so make sure you check with your parents before you read any more of today's blog.

Go ahead


I'll wait


Okay, now where were we? Yesterday here in Bookville I ran across a dopey book of Erotic Haiku. Now I can understand dirty limericks, but Erotic haiku??? Who finds that interesting in the least?

In one of the "poems" the author refers to a part of his anatomy (gee, I wonder which part?) as a "Whimpering Whale..." o------------kay, Now as a guy I can totally understand wanting to impress the ladies by calling something a whale, but "whimpering???" That brings to mind whining, crying, begging and other weakness-centered behavior, does it not?

Is that supposed to be sexy or something. Needless to say it did nothing for me, nor would it were I female. (I'd love to meet the hick chick who is turned on by Whimpering Whales...then I'd bonk her on the head with a frying pan in an effort to keep her from ever reproducing or appearing on Jerry Springer!)

As for other easy targets let me just say... you know who you are...stop setting yourself up all the time because that doesn't excuse the fact that you have the brains and personality of a door knob... I'm trying to be nice...but you make it far too difficult...

Dave

Got a call from an old friend, we used to be real close

Said he couldn't go on the American way...
Called the shots sold the house bought a ticket to the West Coast,
Now he gives them the stand up routine in L. A.

Sorry, now where was I?

Oh yeah, Got a call from MLB today telling me that Jared had "aced" his Pitch hit and run competition and is moving on to the next level. So on June 2nd we go again and this time he competes with kids from all over the region... keep your fingers crossed!

That's all I have for today...thanks for reading...

Dave

If things were simple

If things were simple

"Lost" would give us all the answers to all of the questions we've had for the past 3 years!
(of course, then there would be no more "LOST," so forget that one)

If things were simple

I'd feel happy and healthy every day (but then, I'd have so much less to talk and blog about)

If things were simple

I'd be a multi-millionaire (of course I'd have a lot bigger bills and more headaches)

If things were simple

The war in Iraq would be over and everyone would be happy in a world filled with love..
(of course then there would be no more Democrats...oh, boo hoo...)

If things were simple

I could fix my own car
(there's nothing more to elaborate on here, it's just that being able to fix my car would make my life a lot simpler, wouldn't it?)

If things were simple

I wouldn't have even started this topic...


-Dave

The first week of May 2007

Luke is feeling well enough to play keep-away from Jared

Luke with a new toy...

Jared gets a hug from Dad and Mom as he graduates from Tiger Cubs

Jared on a bridge at Paradise Park during his friend's Birthday Party

Jared knocks one out of the park during the Pepsi MLB Pitch Hit & Run competition

He beat several kids older than him by up to 5 seconds! (at Pitch hit and Run)

Billy Butler Bats a Single

Jared thinks Pudge Rodriguez of the Detroit Tigers is a hoot!


Jared overdoses on Peanuts and goes totally "nuts" during the 5th inning of a Royal's game,
While his Mom, Sherry keeps her eye on the game.

Alex Gordon Strikes out...I'm sorry, but this stopped being news 2 weeks ago!

What a beautiful stadium! Too Bad we lost the game!

Nothing

Today I feel kind of blah... not good, not bad...just blah...

I'm tired from staying up wayyyyy too late to work on fixing our virus infected computer and from working late at the store last night.

My knee is feeling better after I had it drained yesterday, although I've got to say it HURT LIKE HECK!

We're going to the Royal's game tonight if I'm not too sleepy! They've had two good games in a row and I'm hoping they'll keep that going against the Tigers tonight...

One of my co-workers is insane and it slowly pushing us all over the edge... details later...

Dave

The latest from Luke

Here's Luke almost a month after Surgery

He still plays a lot with Jared and Dustin but he's starting to slow down

He's really good with the boys, even when they pester him

His scars are looking better and the hair is starting to grow back