Diverse City

Yesterday we went to the graduation ceremonies for Blue Springs High School at the Municipal Auditorium in downtown Kansas City, Missouri. The first thing that I noticed as we approached the auditorium was the diversity of the crowd. There were young people, old people, Black people and White people. There were Samoans, Hispanics and American Indians too. A lot of people wore the school's color, purple, while others wore dress clothes or even casual wear.

We hurried to our seats in the crowded hall, trying to make our way to where our friends, the Cameron's, were seated, eagerly awaiting their son, Jack's name to be announced. I was proud to be a part of such a wonderful day and such a diverse crowd.

And then it happened...

It seemed harmless at first, but I soon realized that a sinister plot had been put into play. One after one, the names of the students were read... One after one, the name Nicole kept cropping up. Out of 492 Students in the 2009 Graduating Class of Blue Springs High School in Blue Springs, Missouri... approximately 400 of them were named "Nicole!" And out of those 400, 67 of the Nicole's were male!

How is this possible? You ask? Is it possible that in 1991 the most popular girl's name was Nicole? Sure, I suppose that might be possible...but even at that rate only 58.5% would be named "Nicole." Yes, amongst the Nicole's and the one Jack that we knew, there were about 22 "Tara's" and a few "Brittany's," but the amount of Nicole's was disproportionately high.

So, who is behind this nefarious plot?
The Commies?
The Hippies?
The Pinko's?
The Libs?
George W. Bush?
Aliens from another world?

How the Heck should I know? All I know is that at this rate, in approximately 17 years, every new baby that is born on this planet will be named Nicole! Am I alarmed? You Bet! Now I know that you and I both know some very nice Nicole's, Nicolette's and Nikki's, but still, doesn't this event seem a bit too well organized? I guess that leaves our Government off the list of likely suspects, but it still does not answer the bigger question....what exactly is the point I'm trying to make?

I DON'T KNOW!!!

Just take some time and think this out...if you have any theories, please contact me in my underground bunker.

-David