1. I saw Mommy kissing Santa Cl...... Hey, wait! That's not Santa, that's K-Fed... Gross!
2. All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth and 2.5 million dollars from those idiots at Schwinn who failed to put a proper warning label on my bike.
3. Walking in a winter wonderland with a plastic baggy to pick up my dog's poop with.
4. Let it snow, yeah great Idea...You're not the one who gets to stay home and listen to the kids fight over the X-Box.
5. Rudolph the rednosed alcoholic who admits he has a problem but still harbors bad thoughts about the Jews.
6. We wish you a Merry Christmas, but you won't hear it from the associates in our store this season.
7. I'm getting gift cards for Christmas...
8. The 12 days of Christmas and the 365 days of credit card debt.
9. Frosty the transgendered snowman.
10. The Little Drummer boy who keeps getting weird messages on his myspace message board.
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