Get your freak on with Zane

Warning: The following blog contains iffy content that might offend, confuse, perplex, confound, or amuse you...

The other night at the bookstore I work at...(you know the one, its initials are B&N)... a young, African American couple approached me and the male of the duo asked "Can you show us where Zane's books are?"

Zane, for those of you not in-the-know, is a VERY popular black author whose "afro-centric urban erotica" is all the rage these days. Anyway, I told them that I'd show them where the books were, and led them to the end of the fiction section to where Zane has several titles, which are all about "hooking up" or "hitting it..." (which sounds more like an act of violence than an act of sex)

As I handed one of the books to the young lady, I mentioned the price of the book, how much it would cost if she had one of our membership cards, etc... They thanked me, then I thanked them and began to walk away... When the young man said "Don't think this book is for me, it's for this freaky a** b**** here," he said as he pointed to the girl. To which she rightfully replied "Shut up!" as she smacked him on the arm.

Now, maybe I'm not up on my terms of endearment these days, but I don't ever recall labeling my Wife a freaky a** b****. First of all, I've never even thought of calling a woman that, not even my wife in one of my angrier moments. (Granted, I did once refer to a woman blocking traffic with her PLYMOUTH as a "fat cow," which of course, Dustin at the age of three, went around repeating for MONTHS!!!)

Sherry and I jokingly called each other "Lover Muffin" for awhile when dating, because we wanted to come up with something silly to call each other, but I don't think freaky a** b**** ever came up in the discussion as to what we should name ourselves.

I don't know this young lady, but from her looks, she didn't seem to be a you-know-what, but then again, I've been married for nearly 17 years and I'm not sure I even know what that would look like...(nor do I want to). I'm guessing you can find a picture of one on the internet or in Maxim magazine or something, but if I did a google image search for that, I'd be afraid that I might find out exactly what a freaky a** b**** is, wears and does.... eeek!

I guess if Sher and I ever need to spice up our love life, I could start calling her that, but I really have too much respect for her, and I don't think it would be appropriate to call her that even in jest.

Have young people totally lost it? Manners, morals, etc.... Seem to be falling by the wayside at an alarming rate. My advice...Stay away from the freaky a** b****** of the world.... And if you're so inclined, you can always read about them in the newest book by Zane.

Dave