Because Children are sensitive...

Hi Peoples,

Tonight was Jared's first baseball game of the season, and while they played "okay" a few mistakes were made. Because Children are sensitive, I've replaced the actual names of the Children with random words so that no one will be offended and no child will be singled out for their "achievements."

This evening our opposition was the nefarious New York "cottonballs" junior team. The began the first inning by outbatting, out running and out playing us in every way. It started when their first batter "stinky" hit a hard grounder to our pitcher, "sugar-pie," who proceeded to bobble the ball and drop it repeatedly before throwing it over the head of our first basemen "blare-ed." (don't think I mean Jared, cause I don't).

Anyway, the next batter "bubblebutt," smacks one out toward the shortstop, "blue eyes," who is more interested in getting the booger off of his finger then to actually put his glove on and catch something other than boogers! He finally picks up the ball, and throws it waaaaay past our first baseman, "scare-head." (again, clearly I am Not referring to Jared here.)

Then, this one kid, "creepy-boy," slams one right at two of our outfielders, "lemony" and "minty-fresh" who are talking about the dandelions behind second base as they blow dandelion bits all over God's green Earth! Meanwhile, the talented first baseman, "rare-ed," is left with nothing to do.

"Wormnose Weasel-ears" comes up to bat and knocks in three runners, one right after the other, despite the fabulous attempt by "snare-led" the firstbaseman, to a try and tag the runner out. We did have some good hits from "Curly," "Happy" and "vanilla scented candle," but it wasn't enough to overcome a 10 run lead. And please don't think that "barf-face's" triple made a difference in this game.... so what if he's the "Cottonballs" best player!

Even though the "cottonballs" are clearly marvelous children, I can only wish the very worst for them, as they made our catcher, "sherbet," cry... How dare they!

We'll meet again, evil "cottonballs," you haven't seen the last of us!

David