The ups and downs of life

Saturday March 31st... I wake up with a leg that won't bend...what's up with that? Is it the weather? My bad knee joints??? What??? Anyway, by Noon I've taken two pain killers and put enough Theragesic (sp?) ointment on it so that I smell like a candy cane. The pain is bearable, so I go to work at the bookstore that night.

Sunday April 1st... Still got the hurting knees (but mostly the left one). We get up early and head to Springfield, Missouri (about 3 hours South of here) to see my Grandma. She's 94 and is best described as in a "fading" condition. As we enter the outskirts of the city we see a guy on a tractor talking on his cell phone... Hey, we're not in Kansas City anymore...are we?

We arrive at Grandma's house and as we enter she asks "Who is it?" because she can't see much beyond six to ten feet in front of her. I tell her who it is and she begins to cry saying that she has missed us so much. I nearly cry too.

She does pretty good for about the first half hour, then she asks me what my last name is, and didn't I used to live down the street. She then asks if our youngest Son is our oldest Son's son. I tell her that Dustin is only 13 and that they both are my Sons. She can't get over how big Dustin is and then you can see it click in her mind who they are and who we are and she's okay again for about 15-20 minutes and then I have to remind her who we are and where we're from. Meanwhile my heart is breaking each time she fades away.

My Aunt and Uncle are there and it's good to see them even if they don't get along with my Mom very well. We visit with them and then my older Sister, Kayla arrives with her two Daughters and my Mom and we all visit a bit. We tell Grandma bye and in my heart I feel it is the last time we'll see her. She tells me that we won't be seeing her again and the hurt creeps right back in.

We walk next door to my Mom's and visit with her for awhile. She's doing pretty good for 75, but has breathing problems...(Thank you for smoking, MOM!) She collects EVERYTHING and has a bunch of money and arrowheads that I had as a kid. (Every year Dad would plow the garden and dig up more and more arrowheads...it was great!) So now I have the arrowheads...even the purple one I treasured as a child.

We go to meet my Dad and StepMom at our favorite Chinese place, only to find a sign in the window that says "EFFECTIVE APRIL 1ST WE WILL BE CLOSED ON SUNDAYS." Great...just great.... Did they not know I could almost taste the cashewed chicken???

So we go to "Golden Corral" and I eat way too much and then dread the 3 hour drive back and the distance between public restrooms. The boys are being pretty good and Jared is hoping to stay awake so that when we pass the Llama Ranch just North of Warrensburg he can see the Llamas. It was nice to visit with Dad and Verda...I had missed everyone a lot.

We get back home and start answering voice mails that we got that day...

Monday April 2nd.... Opening day for the Kansas City Royals... the day of Luke's cancer surgery and oh yeah, my 40 somethingth birthday... We have so much going on and Scouts that night, so we don't really even celebrate. Lots of people told me happy b-day, and Luke's surgery goes well, but he still has to stay the night to recover. Mel ( our buddy) brings Possums and Squirrels to Scouts to show...the kids love it... Mel is the best! Oh, and the Royals beat Boston 7-1....Whooo hooo!

Tuesday April 3rd... People are still telling me happy birthday, which is kind of cool. Work is okay and I get a lot done... I get stuck in traffic on the way home which makes us late picking Luke up, who looks and obviously feels, really bad. We have to take Jared to baseball practice, so we take Luke too, and he's really thirsty and wants to walk a lot. He crashes when we get home and is really frustrated with the cone on his head that protects him from biting his stitches.

Sherry and the boys take me to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner and it's good, but the place is SO LOUD YOU CAN'T EVEN HAVE A CONVERSATION...

Luke's up a lot overnight and banging into things and yelping and whimpering and barking. I get way too little sleep and discover that if he wants to eat and drink he's going to need smaller bowls. I call in to work and tell them about Luke and that I need to stay home with him, which sounds really stupid, but is totally necessary. You can tell he still feels crappy by the morning...

Weds April 4th... I stay home and then I shop for Luke. I buy him a hotdog at Quik Trip which he gulps down really fast. The Vet calls and says that while they got the tumors during surgery, his cancer is spreading throughout his body and is terminal. This makes me sad, Sherry cries and the boys are unhappy too.

We decide to not chance anymore surgery and will just do our best to keep him happy and comfortable for whatever time he has left... I love that goofy, big dog...

-David